# Monday, 22 November 2010

Subject: FW: Laugh OUT LOUD

An airplane was about to crash; there were 5 passengers on board, but only 4 parachutes.

The first passenger said, "I am President Obama, the chosen one. The world needs me, I can't afford to die." So he took the first parachute and left the plane.

The second passenger, Julia Gillard, said, "I am the prime Minister of 
Australia and I am the smartest woman in Austarlian history, so Australia's people don't want me to die." She took the second parachute and jumped out of the plane.

The third passenger, John Kerry, said, "I'm a Senator, and a decorated war hero from the Army of the 
United States of America."  So he grabbed the parachute next to him and jumped.

The fourth passenger, ex-President George W Bush, said to the fifth passenger, a 10-year-old schoolgirl, "I have lived a full life, and served my country the best I could. I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute."

The little girl said, "That's okay, Mr President. There's a parachute left for you. The chosen one took my schoolbag." 

Monday, 22 November 2010 06:52:02 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
# Wednesday, 16 June 2010

Subject: FW: What is Missing at Obama's Press Conference?

I really don't care what your political affiliation is, these photos don't lie. This is disturbing..

What is missing at Barack Hussein Obama's press conference? 

 

GEORGE WALKER BUSH

WILLIAM JEFFERSON BLYTHE CLINTON

GEORGE HERBERT WALKER BUSH

RONALD WILSON REAGAN

 

That's right...NO American flags!!


 

And it’s not an accident! It’s intentional.

He told you he would change America, didn't he?

Nobody paid attention!  

Vote in November like America depends on it! 

Wednesday, 16 June 2010 07:10:50 (Central Daylight Time, UTC-05:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
# Thursday, 13 May 2010

Subject: FW: If George Bush was an idiot

If George W. Bush had been the first President to need a teleprompter installed to be able to get through a press conference, would you have laughed and said this is more proof of how inept he is on his own and is really controlled by smarter men behind the scenes? 
 
 If George W. Bush had spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to take Laura Bush to a play in NYC, would you have approved? 
 
 If George W. Bush had reduced your retirement plan's holdings of GM stock by 90% and given the unions a majority stake in GM, would you have approved? 
  
 If George W. Bush had made a joke at the expense of the Special Olympics, would you have approved? 
  
 If George W. Bush had given Gordon Brown a set of inexpensive and incorrectly formatted DVDs, when Gordon Brown had given him a thoughtful and historically significant gift, would you have approved? 
 
If George W. Bush had given the Queen of England an iPod containing videos of his speeches, would you have thought this embarrassingly narcissistic and tacky? 
  
 If George W. Bush had bowed to the King of Saudi Arabia , would you have approved? 
  
 If George W. Bush had visited Austria and made reference to the non-existent "Austrian language," would you have brushed it off as a  minor slip? 
  
 If George W. Bush had filled his cabinet and circle of advisers with people who cannot seem to keep current in their income taxes, would you have approved? 
  
 If George W. Bush had stated that there were 57 states in the United States , would you have said that he is clueless.
 

 
If George W. Bush would have flown all the way toDenmark to make a five minute speech about how the Olympics would benefit him walking out his front door inTexas , would you have thought he was a self important, conceded, egotistical prick. 
   
 
If George W. Bush had been so Spanish illiterate as to refer to "Cinco de Cuatro" in front of the Mexican ambassador when it was the 5th of May (Cinco de Mayo), and continued to flub it when he tried again, would you have winced in embarrassment? 
  
 If George W. Bush had mis-spelled the word "advice" would you have hammered him for it for years like Dan Quayle and potatoe as proof of what a dunce he is? 
  
 If George W. Bush had burned 9,000 gallons of jet fuel to go plant a single tree on Earth Day, would you have concluded he's a hypocrite? 
 
 If George W. Bush's administration had okayed Air Force One flying low  over millions of people followed by a jet fighter in downtown    Manhattan  causing widespread panic, would you have wondered whether they actually  get what happened on 9-11? 
  
 If George W Bush had failed to send relief aid to flood victims throughout the Midwest with more people killed or made homeless than in    New Orleans , would you want it made into a major ongoing political issue  with claims of racism and incompetence? 
  
 If George W. Bush had created the position of 32 Czars who report directly to him, bypassing the House and Senate on much of what is happening in America , would you have approved? 
  
 If George W. Bush had ordered the firing of the CEO of a major corporation, even though he had no constitutional authority to do so, would you have approved? 
  
 If George W. Bush had proposed to double the national debt, which had taken more than two centuries to accumulate, in one year, would you have approved? 
  
 If George W. Bush had then proposed to double the debt again within 10 years, would you have approved? 

So, tell me again, what is it about Obama that makes him so brilliant and impressive? Can't think of anything? Don't worry. He's done all this in 14 months -- so you'll have two years and eight months to come up with an answer.

Thursday, 13 May 2010 06:44:42 (Central Daylight Time, UTC-05:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
# Monday, 10 May 2010

Subject: FW: State of the Union

 

It's all Bush's fault ...he did it!

Crying baby obama

Monday, 10 May 2010 06:46:08 (Central Daylight Time, UTC-05:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
# Friday, 09 April 2010

Subject: FW: Lost Wallet

A guy traveling through Mexico on vacation lost his wallet and all of his identification. 
  
Cutting his trip short, he attempted to make his way home but was stopped by the U.S. Customs Agent at the border. 

"May I see your identification, please?" asked the agent.

"I'm sorry, but I lost my wallet," replied the guy. 

"Sure buddy, I hear that every day. No ID, no entry," said the agent. 

"But I can prove I'm an American!" he exclaimed. 
  
"I have a picture of Ronald Reagan tattooed on one side of my butt and George Bush on the other." 
 "This I gotta see," replied the agent. 

 With that, the guy dropped his pants and showed the agent his behind. 
  
"By golly, you're right!" exclaimed the agent. 
  
"Have a safe trip back to Chicago."
Thanks!" he said. 
"But how did you know I was from Chicago?" 
 The agent replied, 
"I recognized Obama in the middle." 

Friday, 09 April 2010 06:38:51 (Central Daylight Time, UTC-05:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
# Tuesday, 09 March 2010

Subject: FW: 2 pictures worth 1000 words

Here is what Obama needs set up to talk to a few
school children.  Not much room for kids. 

Still needs to have the teleprompters.
The secret service guy in back keeps eyes out for
any terrorist-type-8-year-old with tea partying parents.
 

 

our tax money HARD at work



  

Here’s what the last guy needed. 

 

Tuesday, 09 March 2010 19:00:37 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
# Tuesday, 02 March 2010

Subject: FW: The Fall of Barack Obama; Mortimer Zuckerman, had this to say

The Fall of Barack Obama


Written by Paul R. Hollrah 
In a 
January 20, 2010 

Editorial the Editor in Chief of U. S. News & World Report, Mortimer Zuckerman, had this to say: 

"Obama's ability to connect with voters is what launched him. But what has surprised me is how he has failed to connect with the voters since he's been in office. He's had so much overexposure. 

You have to be selective. He was doing five Sunday shows. How many press conferences? And now people stop listening to him.  He's lost his audience. He has not rallied public opinion. He has plunged in the polls more than any other public figure since we've been using polls. He's done everything wrong. Well, not everything, but the major things. I don't consider it a triumph. I consider it a disaster." And that's what his friends are saying about him. 

As the boy president occupied the White House on January 20, 2009 it was predictable that his presidency would last a year, at most, because the things he promised and the things he stood for were so uniquely un-American. 

Looking back over his year in office, any reasonably precocious fourth grader could make a cogent argument in opposition to nearly everything he's done. In fact, his policies have been so extreme and so far outside the mainstream that he was destined to achieve the most spectacular fall from grace of any American president in history.  It was easy to see him serving out the final three years of his term as a virtual exile in the White House. Afraid to venture out among any but the most rabid partisans. 

Seeing his most ambitious initiative, healthcare reform, die in the flames of the Massachusetts Massacre, Obama made a hastily-planned "sortie" to Ohio for yet another Bush-bashing, self-aggrandizing stump speech on job creation. 

It was vintage Obama. full of left wing hyperbole and planted questions from the Kool-Ade drinkers in the hand-picked audience. But there were just two things wrong with it: 

1) Almost everything he said was either wrong or an outright lie, and 

2) He is so overexposed that no one in the television audience really wanted to see him.

Obama Kool-Ade drinkers in the media, and elsewhere, like to describe Obama as a "very bright man, a true intellectual (compared to George W. Bush and Sarah Palin, of course)." 

If that is the case, why has he demonstrated such a great inability to learn from his failures? 

The strident words and the in-your-face attitude of his Ohio speech were proof that he has totally misread the meaning of the Scott Brown victory in Massachusetts .  Whatever hopes and dreams he had for his time in the White House, whatever grandiose plans he had for transforming the United States from a constitutional republic with a free market economy into a socialist dictatorship with a centrally planned economy, were all lost onTuesday, January 19, 2010. One day short of a full year in office. 

Yet, he appears to have learned nothing from the experience. 

Comedian George Gobel once asked, rhetorically, "Did you ever get the feeling that the world was a tuxedo and you were a pair of brown shoes?" In the context of 21st century American politics, and assuming that he has any capacity at all for honest self-examination, Obama must be feeling today very much like a pair of brown shoes at a black tie soiree. 

When a politically naive and totally inexperienced young black man, with a glib tongue and an exceptional ability to read words convincingly from a teleprompter, announced that he was ready to serve as President of the United States, liberals and Democrats saw it as a perfect opportunity to expiate whatever white guilt they may have felt. Which was apparently considerable among those on the political left. 

It didn't seem to bother them that, as one pundit has remarked, "every time he walks into a room he is the least experienced and the least qualified man in the room." 

Nevertheless, his friends in the worldwide socialist movement and the international banking community figured out how to smuggle hundreds of millions of dollars in illegal campaign funds into the country, the black community rallied to his banner, and American liberals and the mainstream media jumped on board the bandwagon.

Together, they made it happen for him. But now, just one year later, Obama appears destined to become the unhappiest man in American politics. unhappier than even former Senator John Edwards, who runs a close second, and former president Bill Clinton. 

Clinton will be the third unhappiest man because, after capturing the big prize, he frittered away whatever chance he had of ever being compared favorably with Franklin D. Roosevelt as one of the 20th century's greatest Democratic presidents.  Not only was he a politician of unusual skill and insight, he was widely known as a policy "wonk" among policy wonks and he had the drive and the personal charm to be loved and respected around the world. 

Unfortunately, he was never able to put the public trust at the top of his priority list. Instead, he surrounded himself with a large cadre of trusted enablers who allowed him to conduct himself as if he were, not the President of the United States , but the class stud on an extended spring break in Acapulco . 

Now that he's been out of office for nearly a decade and he's married to the current Secretary of State, he spends his days trying to find something useful to do without calling an undue amount of attention to himself. 

Having lied so shamelessly to the American people, having perjured himself in a court of law, having turned the Oval Office into a sexual playpen, and having suffered the humiliation of impeachment, he's smart enough to know that he has little reputation left to protect. 

So in order to protect whatever legacy remains, he walks a tightrope every day. and he has many more years to walk it without falling off. 

Former Senator John Edwards is destined to be the second unhappiest man in American politics because he will be known forever as the most thoroughly despised scumbag in the political arena. 

A trial lawyer, Edwards amassed a $60 million fortune by winning large jury awards against doctors, hospitals, and corporations. His specialty was cases in which children were born with cerebral palsy, which he blamed on doctors who had waited too long to perform C-sections, a claim that doctors and medical researchers have described as "junk science." 

Then, like Obama, he decided that his experience in the courtroom, his glib tongue, and his one term in the U. S. Senate qualified him to be President of the United States . 

He entered the 2004 Democratic presidential primaries, raising an incredible amount of money for a newcomer to elective office. most of it raised illegally by "bundlers" in plaintiffs' law firms across the country. He was unsuccessful in his quest for the Democratic nomination but was selected by his Senate colleague, John Kerry, as his running mate.

Two years later, in 2006, Edwards met a young blonde film producer, Rielle Hunter, and embarked on a love affair with her. On February 27, 2008, Hunter gave birth to a daughter, for whom Edwards has consistently denied paternity. until now. 

Taking into account that all of this was happening while his wife was waging a long battle with breast cancer, Edwards now has the well-deserved reputation of being the sleaziest of the sleazy. 

He is so universally despised that, if he is on the lookout for a friend, he might as well resign himself to getting a dog. or moving in with O. J. Simpson. 

Terry Moran, host of ABC's This Week, put it all in perspective. He said, "What's interesting to note is that Edwards' latest admission (that he is the father of Hunter's child) came while he was in Haiti . As if the people of that sad place didn't have enough problems." 

Clearly, the one thing Clinton and Edwards share that places them near the top of our list is their sexual peccadilloes, a shortcoming that Obama does not appear to share with them. at least from what we know so far. 

What we do know about Obama is that, since his teen years, he has been mentored by, gravitated toward, and surrounded by the most dangerous sort of America-hating socialists, communists, and Marxists. from Frank Marshall Davis and Saul Alinsky to Weather 

Underground terrorists Bill Ayers and Bernadine Dohrn, to Rev. Jeremiah Wright, George Soros, and countless radical left college professors.  What destines Obama for the top spot on the list of unhappiest American politicians. aside from the failure of his economic recovery program, the failure of his radical cap-and-trade proposal, his failed attempt to give labor bosses unprecedented power to intimidate blue collar workers, and his ill-fated attempt at healthcare reform. is the fact that he carries on his shoulders the hopes and aspirations of every black child in America. 

It is unfortunate that, because he is so far outside the American mainstream, and because he carries so much hatred in his heart for the country he seeks to lead, his failures will be viewed by generations of black children, not as the failure of a black socialist attempting to bring down a constitutional republic, but simply as the failure of a black man. 

A man can fail in the eyes of his countrymen and still be dearly loved by those closest to him. But in Obama's case, his wife and his two daughters will be there to suffer every agonizing step of his fall along with him. 

And for the rest of his life, each time he looks into their eyes, and into the eyes of black people everywhere, he will see the crushing disappointment that his ill-fated attempt at national transformation has caused them. 

He will be the country's unhappiest man, living the rest of his life knowing that his daughters know that the whole world sees him as a failure. 

He is simply the wrong man, in the wrong job, in the wrong country, at the wrong time in history.

Tuesday, 02 March 2010 06:56:46 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
# Friday, 26 February 2010

Subject: FW: A Civics Lesson on what Obama Inherited.

I'm Sick of  "Inherited!"
Boy is that true...and "HIS EMINENCE" hardly ever gives one of his "readings' without mentioning the ill concieved fact that he

"inherited" the deficit and unemployment or saying "it was at his doorstep when he took office"...signs of a weak, insecure, and dishonest person. Read and pass on, please...

Here's the scoop on what Obama INHERITED!
The Washington Post babbled again  about Obama inheriting a huge deficit from Bush, blah blah blah.  Amazingly enough, a lot of people swallow this nonsense.

So once more, I'll present a short civics lesson, so pay attention !


Budgets don't come from the White House. They come from Congress, and the party that controlled Congress since January 2007 is the Democratic Party. They controlled budget processes for (Fiscal Year = FY)

 FY 2008 and FY 2009, as well as FY 2010 and FY2011.  In that first year, they had to contend with George Bush, which caused them to compromise on spending, when Bush somewhat belatedly got tough on spending increases.  For FY 2009, though, Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid bypassed George Bush entirely, passing continuing resolutions to keep government running until Barack Obama could take office.  At that time, they passed a massive omnibus spending bill to complete the FY 2009 budgets.
And where was 
Barack Obama during this time?  He was a member of that very Congress that passed all of these massive spending bills, and he signed the omnibus bill as President to complete FY 2009.
Let's remember what the deficits looked like during that period:

If the Democrats inherited any deficit, it was the FY 2007 deficit, the last of the Republican budgets. That deficit was the lowest in five years, and the fourth straight decline in deficit spending.  After that, Democrats in Congress took control of spending, and that includes Barack Obama, who voted for the budgets.  If Obama inherited anything, he inherited it from himself.

In a nutshell,  what Obama is saying is I inherited a deficit that I voted for and then I voted to expand that deficit four-fold since January 20th.

 
     WAKE UP AMERICA,

           BEFORE

   ITS TO LATE !

Friday, 26 February 2010 06:50:33 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
# Tuesday, 16 February 2010

Subject: FW: Bush to be honored by the Obama Administration

In a reconciliatory move by the Obama administration, the president
has asked the U. S. Board on Geographical Names to name the fault line
beneath Haiti after the 43rd president of the United States, George W.Bush.

This particular fracture in the tectonic plate will henceforth be called "Bush's Fault."


Tuesday, 16 February 2010 07:17:21 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
# Tuesday, 09 February 2010

Subject: FW: Real billboard in Minnesota

 

George W. Bush: Miss me yet?

Tuesday, 09 February 2010 06:48:29 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
# Wednesday, 27 January 2010

Subject: FW: Dreams Come True!!

Sitting together on a train was Obama, George Bush Jr., a little old lady, and a young blonde girl with large breasts.

The train goes into a dark tunnel and a few seconds later there is the sound of a loud slap..

When the train emerges from the tunnel, Obama has a bright red hand print on his cheek.

No one speaks.


The old lady thinks:
Obama must have groped the blonde in the dark, and she slapped him.


The blonde girl thinks:
Obama must have tried to grope me in the dark, but missed and fondled the old lady and she slapped him.


Obama thinks:
Bush must have groped the blonde in the dark. She tried to slap him but missed and got me instead.


George Bush thinks:
I can't wait for another tunnel, so I can smack Obama again.


 

Wednesday, 27 January 2010 08:41:59 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
# Wednesday, 06 January 2010

Subject: FW: New Obama Security Terror Color Code

 

The New O-land security terror color code!
Green: Naive: Terrorists: Can we talk?
Blue: Misguided: Release Gitmo terrorists
Yellow: Insane: Bow before Saudi king
Orange: Epie Fail: Is that a bomb in your underwear or do you have gas?
Red: Kaboom!: Bush's fault

Wednesday, 06 January 2010 07:08:16 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
# Friday, 18 December 2009

Subject: FW: Daily Chuckle

After the president has been in office for 6 months it is customary for the last president to send a note of congratulations to the new one.

So awhile back when  the note came from Bush to Obama, the president was somewhat troubled because it was written in code and all it said was: 
370H-SSV-0773H
 
This troubled him as he had always heard from his peers how former president Bush was perceived to have been scholarly challenged.
 
So he took the note to his wife. She was unable to decipher it

They called in the VP, and he was unable to decode the message.  They called in the chief of staff and the head of Secret Service detail and they were unable to determine the meaning of the note.

Next he called in the head of the Senate and Speaker of the House. They both were mystified by the meaning of the coded message..
 
Now there was complete panic in the oval office. They called all of their contacts in the media and sent copies of the note to all of them, and not one was able to come up with an answer 

A special emergency meeting was called by the staff. All branches of the military, counter intelligence, CIA, FBI were called in, and the best minds were unable crack the code

After a sleepless night, a now humbled President picked up the phone and called the former president, and asked him the meaning of the note.
 
Bush  chuckled and replied:
Dude ............You're holding it upside down

OK...for you visually challenged....here it is:
HELLO ASS HOLE

Friday, 18 December 2009 06:40:57 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
# Thursday, 10 December 2009

Subject: FW: Good One

George Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell. While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for. The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.

Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he was finished the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a check..

Next Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for 30 minutes. When she was finished the devil informs her that cost is 6 million dollars, so Queen Elizabeth writes him a check.

Finally George Bush gets his turn and talks for 4 hours. When he was finished the devil informed him that there would be no charge for the call and feel free to call the USA anytime.

When Putin hears this he goes ballistic and asks the devil why Bush got to call the USA free. The devil replied, ¨Since Obama became president of the USA , the country has gone to hell, so it's a local call..

Thursday, 10 December 2009 07:20:16 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  |