# Friday, February 26, 2010

Subject: FW: Pearly Gates

Al Gore, Bill Clinton and Barack Obama all go to heaven...

  God addresses Al first..  ''Al, what do you believe in?'' (besides global warming)

Al replies: "Well, I believe that I won that election,  but that it was your will that I did not serve.  I've come to understand that now.''

  God thinks for a second and says:  "Very good. Come and sit at my left.''

  God then addresses Bill.  "Bill, what do you believe in?'' (besides staining blue dresses)
 

Bill replies:  "I believe in forgiveness.  I know I've sinned, but I've never held a  grudge against my fellow man  and I hope no grudges are held against me.'' 

  God thinks for a second and says:  "You are forgiven, my son. Come and sit at my right.''

Then God addresses Barack.  "Barack, what do you believe in?'' (besides yourself)

He replies:  "I believe you're in my chair."

Friday, February 26, 2010 6:55:40 AM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
# Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Subject: FW: Bush to be honored by the Obama Administration

In a reconciliatory move by the Obama administration, the president
has asked the U. S. Board on Geographical Names to name the fault line
beneath Haiti after the 43rd president of the United States, George W.Bush.

This particular fracture in the tectonic plate will henceforth be called "Bush's Fault."


Tuesday, February 16, 2010 7:17:21 AM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
# Tuesday, February 09, 2010

Subject: FW: Cash for Clunkers?

QUESTION?:

What was the most positive  result of the "Cash for Clunkers" program?



ANSWER:

It took 95% of the Obama  bumper stickers off the road.

Tuesday, February 09, 2010 6:56:38 AM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 

Subject: FW: Police Do Care

The Corpus Christi, Texas Police Department reports finding a man's body in the Nueces River near Labonte   Park . The dead man's name will
not be released until his family has been notified. The victim apparently drowned due to  excessive beer consumption.

He was wearing black fishnet stockings, a red garter belt, a pink g-string, a strap-on dildo, purple lipstick and an "Obama for President in 2008" t-shirt.  He also had a cucumber in his rectum.

The police removed the Obama t-shirt to spare his family any unnecessary embarrassment.
 
In spite of what we sometimes think, the Police do care.

joke | police
Tuesday, February 09, 2010 6:55:32 AM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 

Subject: FW: THE COWBOY/BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA

When  I received this email and opened it , I started beating the screen thinking these things had got in my monitor.

 

A cowboy from Texas attends a social function where Barack Obama is trying to gather support for his Health Plan.  Once he discovers the cowboy is from President Bush's home area, he starts to belittle him by talking in a southern drawl and single syllable words.

As he was doing that, he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head. The cowboy says, "Y'all havin' some problem with them circle flies?"

Obama stopped talking and said, "Well, yes, if that's what they're called, but I've never heard of circle flies."

"Well, sir," the cowboy replies, "Circle flies hang around ranches. They're called circle flies because they're almost always found circling around the back end of a horse."

"Oh," Obama replies as he goes back to rambling.

 

But, a moment later he stops and bluntly asks, "Are you calling me a horse's ass?"

 

"No, sir," the cowboy replies, "I have too much respect for the citizens of this country to call their president a horse's ass."

"That's a good thing," Obama responds and begins rambling on once more.

After a long pause, the cowboy, in his best 
Texas  

drawl says, "Hard to fool them flies, though."

joke | flies | cowboy
Tuesday, February 09, 2010 6:46:29 AM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
# Thursday, February 04, 2010

Subject: FW: Stamp Malfunction

Stamp Malfunction 

The Postal Services created a stamp with a picture of President Obama on it. The Postal Service noticed that the stamp was not sticking to envelopes. This enraged the President, who demanded a full investigation. After a month of testing and $1.73 million in congressional spending, a special Presidential commission presented the following findings: 

1.The stamp is in perfect order.
2.There is nothing wrong with the glue.

3.
People are spitting on the wrong side.

joke | picture | stamp
Thursday, February 04, 2010 7:15:27 AM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
# Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Subject: FW: Dreams Come True!!

Sitting together on a train was Obama, George Bush Jr., a little old lady, and a young blonde girl with large breasts.

The train goes into a dark tunnel and a few seconds later there is the sound of a loud slap..

When the train emerges from the tunnel, Obama has a bright red hand print on his cheek.

No one speaks.


The old lady thinks:
Obama must have groped the blonde in the dark, and she slapped him.


The blonde girl thinks:
Obama must have tried to grope me in the dark, but missed and fondled the old lady and she slapped him.


Obama thinks:
Bush must have groped the blonde in the dark. She tried to slap him but missed and got me instead.


George Bush thinks:
I can't wait for another tunnel, so I can smack Obama again.


 

Wednesday, January 27, 2010 8:41:59 AM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
# Monday, January 18, 2010

Subject: FW: Kittens

 

A pretty little girl named Suzy was standing on the sidewalk in front of her home. Next to her was a basket containing a number tiny creatures; in her hand was a sign announcing FREE KITTENS.

Suddenly a line of big black cars pulled up beside her. Out of the lead car stepped a tall, grinning man.

"Hi there, little girl, I'm President Obama. What do you have in the basket?" he asked.

"Kittens," little Suzy said.

"How old are they?" asked Obama.

Suzy replied, "They're so young, their eyes aren't even open yet."

"And what kind of kittens are they?"

"Democrats," answered Suzy with a smile.

Obama was delighted. As soon as he returned to his car, he called his PR chief and told him about the little girl and the kittens.

Recognizing the perfect photo op, the two men agreed that the president should return the next day, and, in front of the assembled media, have the girl talk about her discerning kittens.

So the next day, Suzy was again standing on the sidewalk with her basket of "FREE KITTENS" when another motorcade pulled up, this time followed by vans from ABC, NBC, CBS and CNN.

Cameras and audio equipment were quickly set up, then Obama got out of his limo and walked over to little Suzy.

"Hello, again," he said, "I'd love it if you would tell all my friends out there what kind of kittens you're giving away."

"Yes sir," Suzy said. "They're Republicans."

Taken by surprise, the president stammered, "But... but... yesterday, you told me they were DEMOCRATS."

Little Suzy smiled and said, "I know. But today, they have their eyes open."

Monday, January 18, 2010 6:56:02 AM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
# Friday, January 15, 2010

Subject: FW: Obama and the call girl!

Barack Hussein Obama was looking for a call girl.   

He found three such girls in a local pub, a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. 

To the blonde he said,  'I am the President of the United States.  Now how much would it cost me to spend some time with you?' 

 She replied, $200. 

 To the brunette he asked the same question. 
 
 Her reply was $100. 


 He then asked the redhead... 

 Her reply was, 'Mr. President, if you can get my skirt up as high as my taxes,  My pants as low as my wages,  Get that thing of yours as hard as the times we are living in, 
And keep it rising like the price of gas, Keep me warmer than it is in my apartment and  Screw me the way you have retirees, and our Veterans
Then it isn't going to cost you a friggin' damn cent!

Friday, January 15, 2010 11:43:37 AM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
# Wednesday, January 06, 2010

Subject: FW: WE DID IT!

I was on my way to invest more money at Home Depot this morning, trying to do my part to stimulate the economy.

 I found myself behind this little rice burner of a car bearing a bumper
 sticker that read;

"We did it!" - "Obama / Biden".

 I managed to pull along side of her at a red light about a half mile
down the road. I beeped my horn and gave her a big thumbs up.

 She rolled down her window and I said, "I love your bumper sticker!

 She heartily thanked me. And I quickly added, "It's really good that you are taking  responsibility for your mistake!"

She gave me the finger and drove off.

 Such a humorless bitch.

 

biden | joke
Wednesday, January 06, 2010 6:56:15 AM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 

Subject: FW: ---LJ---

Just passing it along...

 

Americans following Obama:

 

Little Johnny is not an Obama fan 

A teacher asked her 6th grade class how many of them were Democrat Party Obama fans.

Not really knowing what an Obama fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for Little Johnny.

The teacher asked Little Johnny why he has decided to be different ... again.
 
Little Johnny said, "Because I'm not an Obama fan."
 
The teacher asked, "Why aren't you a fan of Obama?" Johnny said, "Because I'm a Conservative."
 
The teacher asked him why he's a Conservative.  Little Johnny answered, "Well, my Mom's a Conservative and my Dad's a Conservative, so I'm a Conservative."
 
Annoyed by this answer, the teacher asked, "If your mom were a moron and your dad were an idiot, what would that make you?"
 
With a big smile, Little Johnny replied, "That would make me an Obama fan."


Recess at the Asylum

 

Wednesday, January 06, 2010 6:55:03 AM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
# Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Subject: FW: Obama, McCain and Hillary go to Heaven

Obama, McCain and Hillary Die And Go To Heaven

John McCain, Hillary Clinton, and Barack Obama all die and go to heaven. God looks down from his throne and asks McCain, "Do you think you deserve to be in heaven?"

McCain takes a breath and then replies, "Well, I think so because I was a great leader and tried to follow the words in your great book." God looks down and then says, "You can sit to my left side."

So, McCain takes his seat and then God asks the same question to Hillary, "Do you think you deserve to be in heaven?" Hillary thinks for a second and then replies, "I think so because I have been fighting for the rights of so many people for so long." God again looks down and this time says, "You can sit to my right side."

Finally God turns to Barack Obama and asks, "Do you think you deserve to be in heaven?"
Obama smiled and replied, "I think you're in my seat."

ego | god | hillary clinton | joke
Tuesday, December 29, 2009 7:06:19 AM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
# Monday, December 21, 2009

Subject: FW: Sign in Restroom

Sign in Restroom.

 
In the washroom in the airport I saw a handwritten sign  posted over one of those  


Hot air hand dryers that read:
Please push button
 and listen For a short message From the President!"

There's nothing like "hot air" and the smell of Fresh crap to give you that true Obama presence!!!!

Monday, December 21, 2009 9:21:44 AM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
# Friday, December 18, 2009

Subject: FW: Daily Chuckle

After the president has been in office for 6 months it is customary for the last president to send a note of congratulations to the new one.

So awhile back when  the note came from Bush to Obama, the president was somewhat troubled because it was written in code and all it said was: 
370H-SSV-0773H
 
This troubled him as he had always heard from his peers how former president Bush was perceived to have been scholarly challenged.
 
So he took the note to his wife. She was unable to decipher it

They called in the VP, and he was unable to decode the message.  They called in the chief of staff and the head of Secret Service detail and they were unable to determine the meaning of the note.

Next he called in the head of the Senate and Speaker of the House. They both were mystified by the meaning of the coded message..
 
Now there was complete panic in the oval office. They called all of their contacts in the media and sent copies of the note to all of them, and not one was able to come up with an answer 

A special emergency meeting was called by the staff. All branches of the military, counter intelligence, CIA, FBI were called in, and the best minds were unable crack the code

After a sleepless night, a now humbled President picked up the phone and called the former president, and asked him the meaning of the note.
 
Bush  chuckled and replied:
Dude ............You're holding it upside down

OK...for you visually challenged....here it is:
HELLO ASS HOLE

Friday, December 18, 2009 6:40:57 AM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
# Saturday, December 12, 2009

Subject: FW: FREE - 4 TICKETS

If anyone wants them I have four extra tickets for the Robbie Knievel (son of Evil Knievel)  Event at the Ford Center  in Beaumont, Texas next weekend.


Robbie will attempt to jump over 1,000 Obama supporters with a Caterpillar D-9 bulldozer.

Should be a historic event.

Saturday, December 12, 2009 8:21:08 AM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
# Thursday, December 10, 2009

Subject: FW: Good One

George Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell. While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for. The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.

Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he was finished the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a check..

Next Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for 30 minutes. When she was finished the devil informs her that cost is 6 million dollars, so Queen Elizabeth writes him a check.

Finally George Bush gets his turn and talks for 4 hours. When he was finished the devil informed him that there would be no charge for the call and feel free to call the USA anytime.

When Putin hears this he goes ballistic and asks the devil why Bush got to call the USA free. The devil replied, ¨Since Obama became president of the USA , the country has gone to hell, so it's a local call..

Thursday, December 10, 2009 7:20:16 AM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 

Subject: FW: Montana Bear Tragedy

This is such a tragedy to see what they have done to our country's wildlife!

Montana Bear Photo.

The photo below captures a disturbing trend that is beginning to affect US wildlife....

Animals that were formerly self-sufficient are now showing signs of belonging to the Liberal Party... as they have apparently learned to just sit and wait for the government to step in and provide for their care and sustenance. This photo is of a Liberal black bear in Montana nicknamed ....
Bearack Obearma

Thursday, December 10, 2009 7:16:24 AM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
# Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Subject: FW: Three New Navy Ships

USS REAGAN
Seeing it next to the Arizona Memorial really puts its size into perspective... ENORMOUS!

When the Bridge pipes ' Man the Rail' there is a lot of rail to man on this monster: shoulder to shoulder, around 4.5 acres. Her displacement is about 100,000 tons with full complement.

Capability
Top speed exceeds 30 knots, powered by two nuclear reactors that can operate for more than 20 years without refueling

1. Expected to operate in the fleet for about 50 years
2. Carries over 80 combat aircraft
3. Three arresting cables can stop a 28-ton aircraft going 150 miles per hour in less than 400 feet

Size
1. Towers 20 stories above the waterline
2. 1092 feet long; nearly as long as the Empire State Building is tall
3. Flight deck covers 4.5 acres
4. 4 bronze propellers, each 21 feet across, weighing 66,200 pounds
5. 2 rudders, each 29 by 22 feet and weighing 50 tons
6. 4 high speed aircraft elevators, each over 4,000 square feet

Capacity
1. Home to about 6,000 Navy personnel
2. Carries enough food and supplies to operate for 90 days
3. 18,150 meals served daily
4. Distillation plants provide 400,000 gallons of fresh water from sea water daily, enough for 2,000 homes esmes
5. Nearly 30,000 light fixtures and 1,325 miles of cable and wiring 1,400 telephones
6. 14,000 pillowcases and 28,000 sheets

USS BILL CLINTON
The USS William Jefferson Clinton (CVS1) set sail today from its home port of Vancouver , BC

The ship is the first of its kind in the Navy and is a standing legacy to President Bill Clinton 'for his foresight in military budget cuts' and his conduct while holding the (formerly dignified) office of President.

The ship is constructed nearly entirely from recycled aluminum and is completely solar powered with a top speed of 5 knots. It boasts an arsenal comprised of one (unarmed) F14 Tomcat or one (unarmed) F18 Hornet aircraft which, although they cannot be launched on the 100 foot flight deck, form a very menacing presence.

As a standing order there are no firearms allowed on board.

This crew, like the crew aboard the USS Jimmy Carter, is specially trained to avoid conflicts and appease any and all enemies of the United States at all costs.

An onboard Type One DNC Universal Translator can send out messages of apology in any language to anyone who may find America offensive. The number of apologies are limitless and though some may seem hollow and disingenuous, the Navy advises all apologies will sound very sincere.

In times of conflict, the USS Clinton has orders to seek refuge in Canada.


USS BARACK OBAMA
Details are as vague.
But don't you worry..........he has a plan

Tuesday, December 08, 2009 6:52:56 AM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
# Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Subject: FW: Parallels Between Honest Abe & BHO

Parallels of Abraham Lincoln and B. H. Obama:

1. Lincoln placed his hand on the Bible for his inauguration. Obama used the same Bible.

2. Lincoln came from Illinois . Obama comes from Illinois .

3. Lincoln served in the Illinois Legislature. Obama served in the Illinois Legislature.

4. Lincoln had very little experience before becoming President. Obama had very little experience before becoming President.

5. Lincoln rode the train from Philly to Washington for his inauguration.  Obama rode  the train from Philly to Washington for his inauguration.

6. Lincoln was a skinny lawyer.  Obama is a skinny lawyer.

7. Lincoln was a Republican.  Obama is a skinny lawyer.

8. Lincoln was highly respected.  Obama is a skinny lawyer.

9. Lincoln was born in the United States.  Obama is a skinny lawyer.

10. Lincoln was honest, so honest he was called Honest Abe.  Obama is a skinny lawyer.

Wednesday, December 02, 2009 6:52:06 AM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 

Subject: FW: Walking Eagle

President BARACK OBAMA was invited to address a major gathering of the American Indian Nation two weeks ago in upstate New York . He spoke for almost an hour about his plans for increasing every Native American’s present standard of living. He referred to his time as a U.S. Senator and how he had voted for every Native American issue that came to the floor of the Senate. Although President Obama was vague about the details of his plans, he seemed most enthusiastic and spoke eloquently about his ideas for helping his “red sisters and brothers.”

 At the conclusion of his speech, the Tribes presented Obama with a plaque inscribed with his new Indian name, “Walking Eagle.” The proud President then departed in his motorcade to a fundraiser, waving to the crowds.

 A news reporter later asked the group of chiefs how they came to select the new name they had given to the President.

 They explained that “Walking Eagle” is the name given to a bird so full of shit it can no longer fly.

Wednesday, December 02, 2009 6:49:54 AM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
# Friday, November 20, 2009

A few conservative jokes.

The liberals are asking us to give Obama time.
We agree and think 25 to life would be appropriate

**********************
America needs Obamacare like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask.

**********************
Q: Have you heard about McDonalds new Obama Value Meal?

A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.

**********************
Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
            
A: A fund raiser.

**********************
Q:  What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?

A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers and threats to society.
The other is for housing prisoners.

**********************
If  Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean
 and
It started to sink, who would be saved? ....

America!

**********************
Q:  What's the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo?

A: Bo has  papers.

birth | joke | obamacare | pelosi | socialist
Friday, November 20, 2009 7:02:31 PM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
# Thursday, November 19, 2009

Subject: FW: You gotta love Maxine

You gotta love this girl..

Maxine On Obama.... 

 

It seems that once again,

 all us white folks have missed

a great opportunity.


While all the black people attended

 Obama's inauguration and parades,

we should have broken into their homes

and gotten all our shit back.  

Thursday, November 19, 2009 4:45:16 PM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 

Subject: FW: A prayer for our President

(You all know me....I had to go Google Psalm 109.8 to confirm that this is accurate........I may become a fan of bumper stickers)

From a friend:

We were in Pigeon Forge over the week end.  We left to come home on Sunday.  Traffic was moving slowly and a car in front of us had an Obama bumper sticker on it.  It read:  "Pray for Obama.  Psalm 109:8".  

Mike's Bible was lying on the dash board so he opened it up to the scripture and read it.  He started laughing and couldn't quit.  Then he read it to me.  I couldn't believe what it said.  I had a good laugh too.

     Psalm 109:8

    "Let his days be few; and let another take his office." 
 

 

I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labours of the people under the pretence of taking care of them.    
                                                                                         -- Thomas Jefferson

Thursday, November 19, 2009 7:06:38 AM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
# Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Subject: FW: Dear Mr. Grim Reaper

Dear Mr. Grim Reaper,

So far this year you have taken away

my personal favorite dancer and entertainer Michael Jackson,

A favorite actor Patrick Swayze,

and favorite actress Farrah Fawcett

and my favorite singer Stephen Gatelly Boyzone

Just so you know,

my favorite politician is Barack Obama.

Thank you

Tuesday, November 17, 2009 7:52:30 PM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
# Thursday, November 12, 2009

Subject: FW: Heisman Trophy Winner Announced

By John Jones

ASSOCIATED PRESS, Washington, D.C. 

 – President Barak Obama has won the Heisman Trophy. 

 Despite the fact that he never played college football, Obama was selected by a group of the nation’s most elite sport writers for his incredible, intended achievement.  In claiming the coveted athletic prize, President Obama said, “I always WANTED to play college football and when I saw myself on the field, I was always in the process of making the most amazing catch as the sport’s best wide receiver so I am honored that the committee has chosen me.” 

 Despite the fact that Obama has been out of college for well over 25 years, the Heisman votes were given to him by the committee because, “Well, we just really like him and even though he smokes, He just seems like a really amazing guy.”  While the other Heisman candidates were stunned, they did agree that the President’s desire to play ball really overshadowed any real accomplishments they had actually made on the nation’s gridirons.

In addition to the fact that President Obama never really played football ever, this award was doubly amazing in that the Heisman Trophy is not usually awarded until much later in the football season.  “It doesn’t really matter,” said Bob Smith fromSports Illustrated.  “When the season begins and ends is really irrelevant to the award.”

Rahm Emmanuel, with tears in his eyes, said, “This means so much to my boss.  I can’t thank those enough for the votes they cast. I will be sure to use this in all our upcoming campaigns.  You have truly given me something to work with and I am so grateful.”

Michelle Obama could not be reached for comment.

 

Thursday, November 12, 2009 10:12:05 PM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 

Subject: FW: Lemon Pick

A woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed to be far too 
qualified for the job.*

 *The foreman frowned and said, "I have to ask you this; have you had any 
actual experience in picking lemons?"*

 *She replied:  "I've been divorced three times and I voted for Obama."*

 

joke | lemon
Thursday, November 12, 2009 10:08:48 PM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 

Subject: FW: a laugh

A Little Black Girl
 
A stranger was seated next to a little black girl on the airplane when
the stranger turned to her and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that
flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow
passenger."

The little girl, who had just opened her coloring book, closed it
slowly and said to the stranger, "What would you like to talk about?"

"Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "Since you are a Negro, do you
think that So-called President Elect Barack Obama is qualified for the
job?" and he smiles.

"OK", she said. 'That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask
you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same
stuff - grass -. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns
out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do
you suppose that is?"

The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence,
thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, ! I have no idea."
To which the little girl replies,
"Do you really feel qualified to discuss President Barack Obama... when
you don't know shit?"

Thursday, November 12, 2009 12:37:48 PM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
# Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Subject: FW: Robot Bartender

 

Guy goes into a bar, theres a robot bartender.

The robot says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Martini." The

robot brings back the best martini ever and says to the man, "Whats

your IQ?" The guy says, "168". The robot then proceeds to talk about

physics, space exploration and medical technology.

The guy leaves, but he is curious, so he goes back into the bar. The

robot bartender says,"What will you have?" The guy says, "Martini".

Again, the robot makes a great martini, gives it to the man and says,

"Whats your IQ?" The guy says, "100." The robot then starts to talk

about Nascar, Budweiser and John Deere tractors..

The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will try

it one more time. He goes back into the bar. The robot says, "What will

you have?" The guy says, "Martini", and the robot brings him another

great martini. The robot then says, "Whats your IQ?" The guy says, "Uh,

about 50." The robot leans in real close and says, "So, you people

still happy you voted for Obama?"

Wednesday, November 11, 2009 12:42:03 PM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  |