Tuesday, January 03, 2012
Subject: FW: Send this to everyone I WANT ONE!!! BRO
May this one take off and spread like wildfire!!
U want Change?
DuhBro Gotta Go!
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Subject: FW: Presidents Visit
I couldn’t resist…………Visit To The Troops
I heard the President's visit to the troops didn't go so well... | |
Obama on tricycle crying chased by tanks
Oh yes, you are going to forward this, aren't you!
Monday, March 14, 2011
Subject: FW: OBAMA IS WORRIED ABOUT EGYPT (Cartoon)
2009 Nobel Peace Prize Winner --
Look, we need to do something about this Egypt thing. If our own citizens realize they can just toss out their leader for being a worthless idiot then I could be next!
Hmmm, yes... I see what you mean.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Subject: FW: DEMOCRAT INBREEDING
DEMOCRATIC INBREEDING
John Kerry + Barrack Obama = 'Golden Voice' Ted Williams
Now that is funny!
Monday, March 07, 2011
Subject: FW: Cartoon Printed In Scotland
It's not only the English who have a sense of humor. The Scots do as well!
New Antiseptic |
This cartoon originated in Scotland ...
It looks like most of the world is laughing at our nation's leadership!
Messianic Pharmaceuticals
- Kills capitalism on contact
- Kills jobs on contact
- Stimulates marxist tendancies
- No oversight needed
- Endorsed by unions
For the general destruction of wealth. If you catch a nasty case of free market capitalism, try hydrogen barackside - it will cure you of all your money issues. Our solution is right on the marx!!
Warning: Keep away from wallet when opening
Wednesday, March 02, 2011
Subject: FW: Scumbag Obama
Says he will remove Patriot Act, Renews key provisions of it
Tuesday, March 01, 2011
Subject: FW: The Caption Is Pure Genius
With breathless anticipation, the crowd awaits the unveiling of the Obama statue
Pigeons
Monday, February 28, 2011
Subject: FW: IGOR, Come!
Igor, Come
We have work to do
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Subject: FW: Racism in America
I feel sorry for Obama because he's still got to fight the innate racism of Americans. I mean, did you see his first speech, when he got made President and they put all that bullet proof glass up in front of him? I think that shows you how racist America still is. Just because he's black doesn't mean he's going to shoot anybody.
Frankie Boyle
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Subject: FW: Nominated Best New Bumper Sticker in 2011
Does this ASS make my car look big?
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Subject: FW: Two FINE butts and one "OH WELL!" She be thick!
Left to right - Princess Letizia of Spain ,
French first lady Carla Bruni,
and you guessed it! Don't you be tellin' me what to eat!!......M
And this is the woman who wants to put us on a diet.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Subject: FW: Here's one idea.........Quite Appropriate..
Congress Votes to Outsource Presidency
Washington, DC
Congress today announced that the office of President of the United States of America will be outsourced to India as of March 1, 2011.
The move is being made in order to save the President's $500,000 yearly salary, and also a record $750 billion in deficit expenditures and related overhead that his office has incurred during the last 3 months.
It is anticipated that $7 trillion can be saved to the end of the President's term. "We believe this is a wise financial move. The cost savings are huge," stated Congressman Thomas Reynolds (R-WA). "We cannot remain competitive on the world stage with the current level of cash outlay," Reynolds noted.
Obama was informed by email this morning of his termination. Preparations for the job move have been underway for some time.
Gurvinder Singh, a tele-technician for Indus Teleservices, Mumbai India , will assume the office of President as of September 1, 2009. Mr. Singh was born in the United States while his Indian parents were vacationing at Niagara Falls, NY . Thus making him eligible for the position. He will receive a salary of $320 (USD) a month, but no health coverage or other benefits.
It is believed that Mr. Singh will be able to handle his job responsibilities without a support staff. Due to the time difference between the US and India , he will be working primarily at night. "Working nights will allow me to keep my day job at the Dell Computer call center," stated Mr. Singh in an exclusive interview.
"I am excited about this position. I always hoped I would be President."
A Congressional spokesperson noted that while Mr. Singh may not be fully aware of all the issues involved in the office of President, this should not be a problem as Obama had never been familiar with the issues either.
Mr. Singh will rely upon a script tree that will enable him to respond effectively to most topics of concern. Using these canned responses, he can address common concerns without having to understand the underlying issue at all. "We know these scripting tools work," stated the spokesperson.
"Obama has used them successfully for years, with the result that some people actually thought he knew what he was talking about."
Obama will receive health coverage, expenses, and salary until his final day of employment. Following a two-week waiting period, he will be eligible for $140 a week unemployment for 26 weeks. Unfortunately he will not be eligible for Medicaid, as his unemployment benefits will exceed the allowed limit.
Obama has been provided with the outplacement services of Manpower, Inc. to help him write a resume and prepare for his upcoming job transition. According to Manpower, Obama may have difficulties in securing a new position due to a lack of any successful work experience during his lifetime.
A greeter position at WalMart was suggested due to Obama's extensive experience at shaking hands, as well as his special smile.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Subject: FW: "Bags fly free"!
THOUGHT YOU'D GET A KICK OUT OF THIS ONE ----- NEW !!!!!
|
Photoshop has a website that conducts weekly contests on a theme that they select.
This week the theme was to build a picture that says
"Goodbye to Nancy Pelosi".
The winning entry follows for you to share with friends: | |
Adois
Au Revoir
Sayonara
Auf Wedersehen
Arrivederci
Dos Svidanja
Shalom
Ciao
Please help me pay for a private jet!
Give me your change
Tuesday, January 04, 2011
Subject: FW: Wal-Mart
Finally--a Walmart Shopper We Can REALLY Be Proud Of!
Brave lady to wear this in WalMart.
Obama Loves America Like OJ Loved Nicole
Tuesday, November 02, 2010
Subject: FW: Psalm 2010
PSALM 2010
Obama is the shepherd I did not want.
He leadeth me beside the still factories.
He restoreth my faith in the Republican party.
He guideth me in the path of unemployment for his party's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the bread line,
I shall fear no hunger, for his bailouts are with me.
He has anointed my income with taxes,
My expenses runneth over.
Surely, poverty and hard living will follow me all the days of my life,
And I will live in a mortgaged home forever.
I am glad I am American,
I am glad that I am free,
But I wish I was a dog,
And Obama was a tree!
The reason Politicians try so hard to get re-elected
is that they would 'hate' to have to make a living
under the laws they've passed.
Monday, October 25, 2010
Subject: FW: Take out the trash!
Tuesday November 2, 2010
Take out the trash button
Friday, October 22, 2010
Subject: FW: Dreams..........
Dreams........We all have 'em ...
Here's mine...
Palin kicking Obama on Beach soccer
***************************
|
Nov 2010
Borders .... Closed ....
Language .... English ....
Culture .... Constitution ....
Bill of Rights and the BIBLE!
NOVEMBER 2010
"CHANGE" IS COMING
We the people are coming!
68% will send this on...
Should be a 100%
BET YOU'LL SEND IT!!
I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO THE FLAG,
OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA ,
AND TO THE REPUBLIC FOR WHICH IT STANDS,
ONE NATION UNDER GOD,
INDIVISIBLE, WITH LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL! |
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Subject: FW: Back Order
We must apologize; your shipment is back ordered.
We simply cannot keep up with the demand, a very popular item…
18 million are on backorder.
We will complete your delivery as soon as possible.
Obama Urinal Cake Guard
Thank you for your patronage.
Thursday, October 07, 2010
Subject: FW: Top Secret Air Force One project
Mr. President, we've just invented an invisibility cloak for Air Force One.
Air Force One is now invisible insuring
your security in the face of growing hostility.
Obama :
:
Will you be going along on its maiden flight?
Obama :
Wouldn't miss this it for the world.
General :
Monday, September 13, 2010
Subject: FW: Photo taken Tuesday in Dallas
PERFECT!!!!
|
Please excuse the French .. . but too funny not to send. :)
|
|
Taken Tuesday in Dallas , TX . |
Guess in Dallas some people aren't afraid to speak their mind.
My Guess He's got Insurance for his vehicle, too. | |
Did you vote fore Obama? THANKS A LOT ASSHOLE
IF YOU LIKED THE PHOTO SEND IT ON, IF YOU DIDN’T “THANKS A LOT ASSHOLE”
Friday, September 03, 2010
Subject: FW: Love this picture
Picture taken this past Saturday in front of El Arroyo in Austin on 5thStreet. I repeat, this is Austin, Texas!
Obama don't go to Arizona - They ask for proof of citizenship!
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Subject: FW: Putin vs. Obama
Putin sniper
Putin on horse
Putin fishing
Putin martial arts
Putin crossbow
Obama bumper car
Obama bike
Obama golf
Obama ice cream
Obama swimming
Obama on The View
Thursday, August 05, 2010
Subject: FW: Maybe I did... (you will love this)
Well, maybe I did have sex with that woman, but I bet that doesn't seem so bad right now, does it?
Tuesday, August 03, 2010
Subject: FW: Picture Of The Year
Editing the Bill of Rights
Monday, August 02, 2010
Subject: FW: Best quote of the year
No contest
This has to be the best quote of the year
"As an American I am not so shocked that Obama was given the Nobel Peace Prize without any accomplishments to his name, America gave him the White House based on the same credentials."
- Newt Gingrich
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Subject: FW: New GM car
New for 2011
The New GM (Government Motors)
Proudly Introduces
The 2011 Obummer
This car runs on hot air, bull-shit and broken promises.
It has three wheels that speed the vehicle through tight left turns.
It comes complete with two Tele Prompters programmed to help the occupants talk their way out of any violations.
The transparent canopy reveals the plastic smiles still on the faces of all the happy owners.
Comes in S, M, L, XL and 2XL
It won't get you to work, but hey, there aren't any jobs anyway!
Friday, July 30, 2010
Subject: FW: What a working desk says about a person's mind.....................
This is GOOD!!!!!!
William F. Buckley
Nat Hentoff
Albert Einstein
Barack Obama
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Subject: FW: Picture of the day
Give Tiger a break, Obama is screwing the whole country!
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Subject: FW: New National Emblem
New American Symbol ?
The skunk has replaced the Eagle as the new symbol of America .
It is half black, half white, and everything it does stinks!
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Subject: FW: Hottest toy of 2010.....PLUS TAX
Be the first one on your block...
The Obama Talking Bullshitter Doll
Speaks endless combinations of bullshit lines
95% of all Americans will see a tax cut
I've been to 57 states!
I speak fluent Austrian and Mexican
Don't blame me, I inherited this mess!
- Gray teflon suit (so nothing sticks to him)
- Special "pull my finger" voice activation
- Made in China
- Speaks many languages such as Austrian, Mexican, and Arabic
- Comes with FREE Joe Biden "Gaffemaster" keychain recorder
- FREE optional flag lapel pin
- built in USB port for direct connectivity to The Telepropter
Order now!
1-800-GO-ACORN
Monday, June 28, 2010
Subject: FW: BP Oil Mop
Obama Afro hair
Subject: FW: bumper sticker
If Obama's the answer
How stupid was the question?
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Subject: FW: PRICELESS
It's "We The People"
Not Me The President!
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Subject: FW: Just plug the damn hole!
The sooner the better.
YEP THAT SHOULD DO IT
Obama pacifier
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Subject: FW: What is Missing at Obama's Press Conference?
I really don't care what your political affiliation is, these photos don't lie. This is disturbing..
What is missing at Barack Hussein Obama's press conference?
GEORGE WALKER BUSH
WILLIAM JEFFERSON BLYTHE CLINTON
GEORGE HERBERT WALKER BUSH
RONALD WILSON REAGAN
That's right...NO American flags!!
And it’s not an accident! It’s intentional.
He told you he would change America, didn't he?
Nobody paid attention!
Vote in November like America depends on it!
Monday, June 14, 2010
Subject: FW: You have to see this
Wish I could read French. You need to look at this!
This is a clothing label from a small American company that sells their products in France. Here's the translation of the French part of the label.
Wash with warm water.
User mild soap.
Dry flat.
Do not use bleach.
Do not dry in the dryer.
Do not iron.
We are sorry that our president is an idiot.
We did not vote for him.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Subject: FW: Finally Something Useful
First came the commemorative coins, then the T-shirts, and then the plates!
Now, something for the rest of us...
Use Sparingly...I find it irritates my ass!!!!
Barack Obama Toilet Paper
Friday, May 21, 2010
Subject: FW: "Coming Attractions"
The String An economic stimulus swindle ...They put the con in congress
Barack Obama Presents: Apologize Now World tour Flogging America to appease our critics and enemies
Kamp Obama Enroll your child today for a even more progressive tomorrow! "surround and intimidate" Acorn techniques Punch back twice as hard Learn the chicago way
Barack Obama's own French dressing
So much european socialist flavor you'll swear you're living in paris Made with 100% deficit spending
Great when used liberally on almost everything
Roasted stimulus plan
Blanquette de health care
Nationalized banking a la barney
Bail out jubilee
Climate change kabob
Foreign policy tartar
Vive la changement!
Gee wiz these are swell! Nobel prize in every box!
Cracker Jack
candy-coated popcorn, peanuts, and a nobel peace prize... That's what you get in cracker jack!
Click your remotes away from fox news
The party demands you watch only state-approved media
American Voters presents The Three Stooges
Bo Blinky Harry
Destruction of a nation
You'll laugh, you'll cry, as the three most powerful people in america impose unchecked ultra-liberal policies on our country
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
A republican party production
Obamolini - The untold story
Fascist socialist communist kenyan nazi muslim
He'll kill your granny
He'll control your children's minds
He'll chew up your dog and spit it out
Death Panels - Be afraid Very afraid
Monday, May 17, 2010
Subject: FW: I like it ... I want one
Have You Received Yours Yet ??
President Barack Obama's new "Let's spread the Wealth" pencil sharpener.
Each and every taxpayer will be mailed one of these along with the new 2010 IRS tax forms. |
It's free to everyone who is gainfully employed and who will be footing the bill for someone else during the coming year!!!
So, be watching your mail box!!!
Friday, May 14, 2010
Subject: FW: Obama Vasoline
Vasoline Intensive Care
Bend Over America
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Subject: FW: THE ONLY THING MISSING IS OBAMA ON THE OTHER...
Just where Jimmy Carter belongs. Next to him should be the BO.
Jimmy Carter tattoo on ass
Monday, May 10, 2010
Subject: FW: State of the Union
It's all Bush's fault ...he did it!
Crying baby obama
Wednesday, May 05, 2010
Subject: FW: ObamaBingo
|
|
Here is something to help make Obama's speeches more interesting. Just print out this page, distribute it to your friends, and go listen... (be sure to read directions at the bottom) | | | |
Barack's Bullshit BINGO
Let me be clear
Held Accountable
Historic
Make no mistake
I've said time and time again
Uh, I, Uh, Ummm
Crisis
Pahk-ee-stahn
Worst economy since the great depression
Saved or created
Game changer
There are those who say
Previous administration
Inherited
Back from the brink
Unprecedented
Fiscal responsibility
I, Me, my
Not one dime
Transparent
That's simply not true
The system is broken
You can keep your present plan
Restore our reputation
choice and competition
Subject: FW: Best Protester's Sign Yet!
He made his point.
Illegal immigration is destroying America - Look what it did to the white house!
Tuesday, May 04, 2010
Subject: FW: Real Estate Tax is now Law
|
Remeber this when you vote in Nov.
More bad news from Obamacare especially for the real estate market!
Real Estate Tax is now Law
This is for all of you that mighy be interested in selling or buying a home in the future!
It would have been nice if this were publicized BEFORE the vote. I
wonder what is in the rest of the 2700 pages that no one read....
Sounds like escrow people will now be tax collectors.
Under the new health care bill - did you know that all real estate
transactions are subject to a 3.8% "Sales Tax"?
If you sell your $400,000 home, this will be a $15,200 tax. |
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Subject: FW: Bumper Stickers
No president in history ever had this many bumper stickers created.... Not even Carter. It appears....that the American people are not happy any more!
The people have spoken.....
Are you better off than you were 4 trillion dollars ago?
So far, the change sucks!
Change it back!
Diversity It killed 13 at Fort Hood
OOPS Can we get a do over?
You can't fix stupid but you can vote it out!
Osama & Obama both have friends that bombed the pentagon
Got Socialism?
Liberal logic Terrorists have rights Christians don't!
Obamacare Side effects include headache, delayed treatment, zero choice, sky rocketing taxes and premature death!
Obamacare Freedom not included
Obamacare makes me sick
Obamacare: If it's not good enough for congress... it's not good enough for my family!
Give congress the same health care as the people
Obamacare The efficiency of the DMV, the compassion of the IRS
Subject: FW: Some Ego!
Barack Obama is so stuck on himself, he had a toy company actually create an action figure of him!!! This guy!
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Subject: FW: Hope and Cash
Remember when Ronald Reagan was president?
We also had Bob Hope and Johnny Cash...
Now we have Obama and no Hope and no Cash!
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Subject: FW: Now this really took some thinking!
OBAMOPOLY
Obama monopoly board
Subject: FW: DOGS JUST KNOW ...
Have you ever heard that a dog just 'knows'
when an earthquake is about to hit?
Have you ever heard that a dog can 'sense' when
a tornado is stirring up, even 20 miles away?
Do you remember hearing that before the
December tsunami struck Southeast Asia, dogsstarted running frantically away from the seashore, at breakneck speed?
Do you know that dogs can detect cancer
and other serious illnesses and danger of fire?
Somehow they always know when they can 'go for a ride' before you even ask. How do those dogs and cats get home from hundreds of miles away?
I'm a firm believer that animals - and especially cats and dogs - have keen insights into the Truth.
And you can't tell me that dogs can't sense a potentially terrible disaster well in advance.
Simply said, a dog JUST KNOWS when something isn't right... when impending doom is upon us.
They'll always try to warn us!
We should have listened.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Subject: FW: That moment just before the pain begins...
Some of these are pretty graphic...especially the last one.
That moment just before the pain begins...
Cyclist run over by car
Hit by bat
Bike Jump
Motorcycle broken fork
Bull Horn
Motorcycle Running Over
Jumping Bull
Bike faceplant
Bull Horn
Obama inauguration
Thursday, April 08, 2010
Subject: FW: Da Prezzz!!!
GERMAN FLOAT .
This float was in a parade in Berlin
You've Got to Love those Germans.........
They have A Great sense of humor!
What is she hanging on to?
Thursday, April 01, 2010
Subject: FW: Oops
Barack Obama got out of the shower and was drying off when he looked
in the mirror and noticed that he was white from the neck to the top of his head.
In a sheer panic and fearing he was turning white all over, he called his doctor and told him what had happened.
The doctor advised him to come to his office immediately.
After an examination, the doctor mixed a concoction of brown liquid,gave it to Barack, and told him to drink it all.
Barack drank the concoction and said,"That tasted like bullshit!"
"It was." the doctor replied, "You were a quart low."
Friday, March 26, 2010
Subject: FW: Ole Jimmy
Here is the billboard that went up today in beautiful, sunny Grand Junction, CO.
They can't call me the worst presidient anymore!
Jimmy Carter
Subject: FW: State Farm Sign
A STATE FARM SIGN..... (Couldn't say it any better!)
A taxpayer voting for Barack Obama is like a chicken voting for Colonel Sanders.
State Farm Insurance
Bud Gregg
Friday, March 19, 2010
Subject: FW: Best sign ever!!!!!
Recession - When your neighbor loses his job.
Depression - When you lose yours.
Recovery - When Obama loses his!
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Subject: FW: LOOK WHO'S PRAYING!
LOOK WHO'S PRAYING!
And what was it he said to all of you that were in Washington , DC last week....?
"Don't you question my religion!"
Oh, yes, Obama prays all right:
(obama removing shoes to pray on mat)
HE PRAYS
WITH THE MUSLIMS!!
This is
OUR President at a MOSQUE prayer session LAST
WEEK AT THE WHITE HOUSE, on the site where the
INAUGURATION is held every 4 years!
He canceled OUR CHRISTIAN NATIONAL DAY OF PRAYER"
...Now...THIS!
For Obama to continue as our president is an INSULT TO OUR FOUNDING FATHERS!
AND DISGUSTING TO EVERY RED BLOODED AMERICAN***
Forward this to every
American Citizen as the media won't, and they go out of their way to hide it!
Tuesday, March 09, 2010
Subject: FW: Smile
Will sombody please give obama a blowjob so we can impeach him!
Subject: FW: 2 pictures worth 1000 words
Here is what Obama needs set up to talk to a few
school children. Not much room for kids.
Still needs to have the teleprompters.
The secret service guy in back keeps eyes out for
any terrorist-type-8-year-old with tea partying parents.
our tax money HARD at work
Here’s what the last guy needed.
Wednesday, March 03, 2010
Subject: FW: THE DOCTOR IS IN
Quit paying your insurance premiums.
Free health care is here.
The doctor will see you now.
Obamacare, coming soon to a clinic near you
Friday, February 19, 2010
Subject: FW: Birthplace of Barack Obama
Welcome to Kenya
Birthplace of Barack Obama
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
Subject: FW: Real billboard in Minnesota
George W. Bush: Miss me yet?
Thursday, February 04, 2010
Subject: FW: EAR FLAP - G R E A T!!
This man, 73, is wearing a protective flap over his earwhile Joe Biden, Barack Obama and Nancy Pelosi addressed the Veterans of Foreign Wars. I wish I could shake this man's hand. I just want to know where he got it......?
Bullshit Protector
PROUD TO BE AMERICAN !!!!
Subject: FW: Stamp Malfunction
Stamp Malfunction
The Postal Services created a stamp with a picture of President Obama on it. The Postal Service noticed that the stamp was not sticking to envelopes. This enraged the President, who demanded a full investigation. After a month of testing and $1.73 million in congressional spending, a special Presidential commission presented the following findings:
1.The stamp is in perfect order.
2.There is nothing wrong with the glue.
3.People are spitting on the wrong side.
Wednesday, February 03, 2010
Subject: FW: WTF
This needs to get out all over the Net. Our President still does not know what to do when the national anthem is played!!!!!
At the Ft. Hood Memorial Service...
The Crotch Salute Returns
I'm sorry folks, but is this the turkey that was elected President of our country? You know, the United States of America ? I do believe that saluting the flag goes with that, and also to honor the servicemen who died, or is he above that? Shower us all with flowery words and dazzle us with B.S. but actions speak louder. This stinks.
Subject: FW: After the State of the Union speech-look for yours in the mail soon
Finally! My Obama bullshit decoder ring!
Monday, February 01, 2010
Subject: FW: Obama bows to Tampa mayor!!!
U.S. President Barack Obama bows to Tampa Mayor Pam Iorio at MacDill Air Force Base on Thursday, Jan. 28, 2010 in Tampa, Fla. (AP Photo)
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Subject: FW: Snow White & the 7 Dorks
Snow White
Skanky
Sleazy
Fishy
Queeney
Dopey
Cheaty
Gaffy
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Subject: FW: Dumb and Dumber
Barack Obama Joe Biden
Dumb and Dumber
For Barack and Joe, every day's a no-brainer
A Smash hit in 57 states!
Written by Neil Kinnock and Deval Patrick
Playing everywhere until election day
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Subject: FW: Debt Star
THE DEBT STAR
If you were looking for A New Hope, try Episode IV
Subject: FW: Obamanomics
So we'll put money in the economy by taking money out of the economy, then putting it back in the economy and taxing it as it passes through.
Yeah, that should work.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Subject: FW: Obama / Woods
Obama to Tiger Woods: Seriously... I have screwed more people than you...
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Subject: FW: OBAMA FAIL
Subject: FW: Obama's portable teleprompters
President Obama, on his last trip overseas, did not have room for his teleprompters. The ingenuity of the US government created a ultra-portable custom helmet teleprompter unit for him:
Monday, January 18, 2010
Subject: FW: What is this old tool??
A Strange Old Tool . . .. .
This Old Tool has been reintroduced in Washington D.C. by the Obama Administration.
Are you starting to feel it yet?
Tobacco Smoke Enema (1750s-1810s)
The tobacco enema was used to infuse tobacco smoke into a patient's rectum for various medical purposes, primarily the resuscitation of drowning victims. A rectal tube inserted into the anus was connected to a fumigator and bellows that forced the smoke towards the rectum. The warmth of the smoke was thought to promote respiration, but doubts about the credibility of tobacco enemas led to the popular phrase "blow smoke up one's ass."
Friday, January 15, 2010
Subject: FW: Misleader
Misleader
Thursday, January 07, 2010
Subject: FW: Anticipation
With breathless anticipation, the crowd awaits the unveiling of the Obama statue.
Tuesday, January 05, 2010
Subject: FW: Congressional Express
Congressional Express
Collective Spending Card
Spread the wealth * Until it's gone
Public Dependent In Government We Trust
Free Lunch
Change has come
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Subject: FW: Redneck Word for Today: Obama
I bought me a case of beer and drank it Obama self!
Monday, December 21, 2009
Subject: FW: Sign in Restroom
Sign in Restroom.
In the washroom in the airport I saw a handwritten sign posted over one of those
Hot air hand dryers that read:
Please push button and listen For a short message From the President!"
There's nothing like "hot air" and the smell of Fresh crap to give you that true Obama presence!!!!
Friday, December 18, 2009
Subject: FW: TEA Party
February 27, 2009
Subject: FW: Obama's Real Persona: OBozo
Hmmm. What grade do I deserve?
- Tripled budget deficit $1.4 trillion
- $700 Billion bailout
- Double digit unemployment
- $787 Billion stimulus
- National debt $12 trillion
- Forced GM and Chrysler into bankruptcy
- Announced public trial for 9/11 terrorists in NYC
- Cash for clunkers
- World apology tour
- Dithered while soldiers died in Afghanistan
- Loves to speak and be on TV
- Loves Czars
Coming Soon...
- $Trillion dollar healthcare reform
- Economy busting cap and trade tax
- All gitmo terrorists on US soil
- Bush / Cheney / CIA trials
- Middle class tax increase
- World apology tour redux
- Internet censorship fairness act
- Government intrusion
- Stifling taxes
- More massive debt
- Inflation
- Bankruptcy
AND A WHOLE LOT MORE...
Subject: FW: Thanks Obama
Thanks, Obama.
You've spent my lunch money, my allowance, my inheritance, 35 years of future paychecks, and my retirement. You asshole.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Subject: FW: Letter to editor
No paperwork
To the editor:
I don't understand why the White House is so upset about the two party crashers at Barack Obama's steak dinner the other night.
Is it really appropriate and politically correct to call them party crashers just because they trespassed on Mr. Obama? Does that make them criminals? Isn't that discrimination? Shouldn't they be rewarded for such bold and brave behavior? Maybe they were just trying to feed their family?
I would suggest that it's more appropriate to call them "undocumented guests."
Just because they weren't officially invited doesn't mean they should be treated like criminals. Maybe they should get free health care, free housing, free legal services and free White House green cards so next time they can enter legally. And they should be able to bring all of their family members, too.
How can Mr. Obama be mad at them just because they crossed over some arbitrary man-made boarder? They were there only to do the things that regular invited guests didnt' want to do. (Like hang out with Joe Biden.)
How can the White House punish these poor oppressed undocumented visitors?
BRIAN K. SHOEMAKE
Pahrump
Monday, December 14, 2009
Subject: FW: Obamaville
This sign was posted outside a tent city and right beside a sign that boasts “Putting America Back to Work” from Obama’s failed American Recovery Act. This tent city holds hundreds of people that have been affected by Obama’s miserable handling of the economy. These are people who didn’t receive any of the stimulus because Obama was too busy paying back those who helped him get elected…Wall Street and the Unions.
Subject: FW: Left Hand Salute
Please see image of Barrack and Michelle Obama, who seem to be saluting backwards. You will note that pin on lapel, wedding rings, and buttons on his jacket all appear in line with the picture not being photoshopped.
Subject: FW: DOES ANY ONE HERE LOOK FAMILIAR??
See the white guy in the white suit, see the blond with the white dress, see the guy in the middle, this picture was taken a few years ago, it seems Obama has known these two phonies for awhile, at least when he was a senator, they are getting all this press now as party crashers and the secret service is taking heat, funny how this has not come out in the press...
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Subject: FW: Were you invited to this dinner party ?
Pimp outfit
Subject: FW: Perhaps the best "tea party" sign yet
Ram it down our throat in '09
We'll shove it up your ass in '10
Subject: FW: America's newest medication/drug.
E.D.
Excessive Dishonesty
That's what I'm Talking About
LIAGRA
100mg Sliperyweaselsnot
- Stronger, longer lasting fabrications
- Removes remorse
- So effective, you'll even believe your own B.S.
Warning: For lies lasting less than four hours, contact the main stream media for additional "Spin"
Lizer
Sugar coated to cover the B.S.
Subject: FW: FREE - 4 TICKETS
If anyone wants them I have four extra tickets for the Robbie Knievel (son of Evil Knievel) Event at the Ford Center in Beaumont, Texas next weekend.
Robbie will attempt to jump over 1,000 Obama supporters with a Caterpillar D-9 bulldozer.
Should be a historic event.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Subject: FW: What a great sign!
This little piggie scares the markets, (Obama)
This little piggie steal the homes, (Acorn)
This little piggie has roast pork, (Congress)
This little piggie gets none (and has to pay for everything!) (US Taxpayer)
And this "little" piggie cries "Me, Me, Me!"
Then eats us out of house and home! (Big Government)
Subject: FW: This teacher is truly a genius!
This teacher is truly a genius!
As the late Adrian Rogers said, "you cannot multiply wealth by dividing it."
This man is truly a genius!
An economics professor at a local college made a statement that he had never failed a single student before,
but had once failed an entire class.
That class had insisted that Obama's socialism worked and that no one would be poor and no one would be rich, a great equalizer.
The professor then said, "OK, we will have an experiment in this class on Obama's plan".
All grades would be averaged and everyone would receive the same grade so no one would fail and no one would receive an A.
After the first test, the grades were averaged and everyone got a B.
The students who studied hard were upset and the students who studied little were happy.
As the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had studied even less and the ones who studied hard decided they wanted a free ride too so they studied little.
The second test average was a D!
No one was happy.
When the 3rd test rolled around, the average was an F.
The scores never increased as bickering, blame and name-calling all resulted in hard feelings and no one would study for the benefit of anyone else.
All failed, to their great surprise, and the professor told them that socialism would also ultimately fail because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great but when government takes all the reward away, no one will try or want to succeed.
Could not be any simpler than that.
Remember, there is a mid-term election in 2010!
Subject: FW: While Supplies Last!
Free nobel peace prize with oil change
Horizon Auto Center
Rockwall's Finest Auto Care
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Subject: FW: Did I do that?
Obama as Urkel
Subject: FW: Montana Bear Tragedy
This is such a tragedy to see what they have done to our country's wildlife!
Montana Bear Photo.
The photo below captures a disturbing trend that is beginning to affect US wildlife....
Animals that were formerly self-sufficient are now showing signs of belonging to the Liberal Party... as they have apparently learned to just sit and wait for the government to step in and provide for their care and sustenance. This photo is of a Liberal black bear in Montana nicknamed ....
Bearack Obearma
Wednesday, December 09, 2009
Subject: FW: Plugged Up?
Constipation?
If you are bothered by occasional or frequent constipation, look in the mirror and repeat the following phrase three times in succession when symptoms occur:
My present and future financial and personal well being are totally in the hands of...
- Barack Obama
- Joe Biden
- Harry Reid
- Nancy Pelosi
- Time Geitner
- Rahm Emmanuel
- Chris Dodd
- Barney Frank
If that doesn't scare the shit out of you, then you are probably destined to be backed up for the rest of your life. There is no need to thank me for this advice; I'm just doing it as a public service.
Subject: FW: Quotes
These two quotes were MEANT to be side-by-side.
"My friends: We live in the greatest nation in the history of the world. I hope you'll join with me, as we try to change it."
- Barack Obama
"Life's tough, it's even tougher if you're stupid!"
- John Wayne
Monday, December 07, 2009
Subject: FW: New by Ben and Jerry 's
New by Ben and Jerry 's !
Half vanilla, half chocolate, surrounded by fruits and nuts
In honor of the 44th President of the United States ,
Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream has issued a new flavor, " Barocky Road "
Barocky Road is a blend of half Vanilla, half Chocolate, and surrounded by Nuts and Fruits.
The Vanilla portion of the mix is not openly advertised and usually denied as an ingredient.
The Nuts and Fruits are all very bitter and hard to swallow.
The Cost is $100.00 per scoop.
When purchased, it will be presented to you in a large beautiful cone,
but then the ice cream is taken away and given to the
person in line behind you that did not pay anything for it.
Thus, you are left with an empty wallet, no change,
holding an empty cone, and with no hope of getting any ice cream.
Aren't you feeling stimulated?
Friday, December 04, 2009
Subject: FW: Future Obama Prizes
President Obama is Awarded...
- Nobel Prize for Future Peace Accomplishments
- Bass Fishing Tourney Trophy for Futre Catch
- Pillsbury Bake-Off Award for Future Pound Cake
- Mr. Universe Title for Future Muscles
President or Jihad?
Birth Certificate
PROVE IT! Wake up America! Remember Ft. Hood!
Wednesday, December 02, 2009
Subject: FW: Could I see your invitation?
Could I see your invitation?
If I can see your birth certificate!
Tuesday, December 01, 2009
Subject: FW: HAVE YOU SEEN THIS VAN???
"In my many years I have come to a conclusion that
one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm and
three or more is a congress."-- John Adams
I hope this one makes the rounds repeatedly!!!! Give the people the same health care as their elected officials!!!
Don't you just want to drive this all over AMERICA !!!!!!!!!!!! | | | |
Fight organized crime: Re-elect no one | | | |
President Obama
If the Health Care Reform Plan is so Great why does it exempt* you, Michelle Obama, Congress, Senators and their families?
Page 114 Line 22
Monday, November 23, 2009
Subject: FW: Awesome Movie Now Playing
Bo and Joe, starring in...
BROKEBANK MOUNTAIN
America is in for one helluva ride!
Subject: FW: Tailgate Sticker of the Year
One
Big
Ass
Mistake
America
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Subject: FW: Obama will bow to ANYONE
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Subject: FW: You gotta love Maxine
You gotta love this girl..
Maxine On Obama....
It seems that once again,
all us white folks have missed
a great opportunity.
While all the black people attended
Obama's inauguration and parades,
we should have broken into their homes
and gotten all our shit back.
Subject: FW: ONLY IN TEXAS
Zoo has african lion
white house has a
lyin african
Subject: FW: Your prescription is ready for pick-up
Federal Pharmacy of the US
1600 Pennsylvania Ave
(202) 456-1414
AMERICAN PEOPLE
TAKE ONE TABLET RECTALLY EVERY DAY
OBAMACARE TABLETS 850mg
(Socialismus Medicinus)
QTY: Infinite Exp: Never
KNOWN SIDE EFFECTS:
- Loss of choice & loss of wealth
- Reduced Medicare & services
- Reduced medical research
- Long waits, rationed care
- Lack of trained doctors
- May induce protesting
- May induce conservative thought
- May induce reliance of government
IF SIDE EFFECTS PERSIST, CONTINUE TAKING OBAMACARE - YOU HAVE NO CHOICE ANYWAY!
Dr. M. Baucus, Nurse N. Pelosi
REFILLS AUTOMATICALLY
CITIZENSHIP REQUIRED (SORT OF)
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Subject: FW: Party Time!
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Subject: FW: OBITUARY
OBITUARY
Born 1776, Died 2008
It does not hurt to read this several times.
Professor Joseph Olson of Hamline University School of Law, St. Paul, Minnesota, points out some interesting facts concerning last November's Presidential election:
- Number of States won by: Democrats: 19 Republicans: 29
-
- Square miles of land won by: Democrats: 580,000 Republicans: 2,427,000
Population of counties won by: Democrats: 127 million, Republicans: 143 million
Murder rate per 100,000 residents in counties won by:
Democrats: 13.2 Republicans: 2.1
Professor Olson adds: "In aggregate, the map of the territory Republicans won was mostly the land owned by the taxpaying citizens of the country.
Democrat territory mostly encompassed those citizens living in low income tenements and living off various forms of government welfare..."
Olson believes the United States is now somewhere between the "complacency and apathy" phase of Professor Tyler's definition of democracy, with some forty percent of the nation's population already having reached the "governmental dependency" phase.
If Congress grants amnesty and citizenship to twenty million criminal invaders called illegals and they vote, then we can say goodbye to the USA in fewer than five years.
If you are in favor of this, then by all means, delete this message.
If you are not, then pass this along to help everyone realize just how much is at stake, knowing that
apathy is the greatest danger to our freedom.
Subject: FW: How on earth did this happen...
The best one is the last one!!!!
How on earth did this happen????
Subject: FW: The cow and the ice cream...
THE COW AND THE ICE CREAM
ONE OF THE BEST EXPLANATIONS
OF WHY OBAMA WON THE ELECTION
--From a teacher in the Nashville area
"We are worried about 'the cow' when it is all about the 'Ice Cream.'
The most eye-opening civics lesson I ever had was while teaching third grade this year...
The presidential election was heating up and some of the children showed an interest.
I decided we would have an election for a class president.
We would choose our nominees. They would make a campaign speech and the class would vote.
To simplify the process, candidates were nominated by other class members.
We discussed what kinds of characteristics these students should have.
We got many nominations and from those, Jamie and Olivia were picked to run for the top spot.
The class had done a great job in their selections. Both candidates were good kids.
I thought Jamie might have an advantage because he got lots of parental support.
I had never seen Olivia's mother.
The day arrived when they were to make their speeches.
Jamie went first.
He had specific ideas about how to make our class a better
place. He ended by promising to do his very best.
Everyone applauded and he sat down.
Now is was Olivia's turn to speak.
Her speech was concise.
She said, "If you will vote for me, I will give you ice cream."
She sat down.
The class went wild. "Yes! Yes!
We want ice cream."
She surely would say more. She did not have to..
A discussion followed. How did she plan to pay for the ice cream?
She wasn't sure.
Would her parents buy it or would the class pay for it.
She didn't know.
The class really didn't care.
All they were thinking about was ice cream.
Jamie was forgotten. Olivia won by a landslide..
Every time Barack Obama opened his mouth he offered ice cream and
52 percent of the people reacted like nine year olds.
They want ice cream.
The other 48 percent know
they're going to have to feed the cow and clean up the mess."
This is the ice cream Obama promised us! |
|
Remember, the government cannot give anything to anyone --
that they have not first taken away from someone else. |
Subject: FW: Priceless
1. Cost of a bowl of soup at a homeless shelter: $0
2. Cost of staying overnight in a homeless shelter: $0
3. Catching a "Homeless" man taking a picture of Michelle Obama with his $300 Blackberry (+$100/month service) while receiving his FREE GOVERNMENT provided meal: PRICELESS!!
Friday, November 13, 2009
Subject: FW: Two First Ladies descending from Air Force One
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Subject: FW: deer hunting after the Obama gun ban
Deer Hunting after the Obama Gun Ban..
Subject: FW: I plan to join The New AARP
The New AARP
Yep, the heck with the ultra liberal old AARP (American Association for Retired People). I joined the new AARP.
Let me get this straight. Obama's health care plan will be written by a committee whose Chairman says he doesn't understand it, passed by a Congress which hasn't read it, signed by a President who smokes, funded by a Treasury Chief who did not pay his taxes, overseen by aSurgeon General who is obese, and financed by a country that is nearly broke.
What could possibly go wrong?
Subject: FW: Broc Obama
Broc Obama
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Subject: FW: Perfect Sign on highway....
Perfect Sign on highway....
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Subject: FW: Here it is Folks: The Smoking Gun -- Certified Copy of Obama's Kenyan Birth Certificate!
If this is true we have a real mess to fix in our own country. Imagine the
mess that will take place immediately and then the further mess of what we
do with the V.P. etc.
Subject: FW: Here it is Folks: The Smoking Gun -- Certified Copy of Obama's
Kenyan Birth Certificate!
Importance: High
Lucas Smith Affidavit now filed with the US District Court
- Obama Kenyan BC
September 4th, 2009
As of today, September 4, 2009, this Affidavit has been filed with the
United States District Court in Southern California ~ represented by Orly
Taitz.
This is a legal affidavit that declares Lucas Smith to be of sound mind
and judgment. Lucas can go to jail if he lied on this affidavit.
The document (Certified COPY of Obama Kenyan Birth Certificate) you see
here, once it is validated by the court, is pretty much the proverbial
"smoking gun."
During the American Revolution 70% of the people were loyal to the King or
apathetic. The other 30% founded a Nation.
Many folks want to serve God, but only as adviser.
FILED in US District Court, Santa Ana California
Subject: FW: Fwd: Fw: Is She the Piñata?
Need a good short laugh? Here it is.
I've looked at this over and over and still can't believe it! How DID those people on either side of them keep a straight face???
Subject: FW: A MUST SEE PICTURE your tax dollars HARD AT WORK. . .
Should we buy them larger screen computers - or - a ticket home for good???
Nothing else need to be said. This is one of their THREE DAY WORK WEEKS that we all pay for. I am ready to start from the beginning by voting out all elected officials and not letting any of them stay in office for more than two terms. No more lifelong healthcare, retirement, voting in their own pay raises, taking perks on our taxes, etc. |
House Minority Leader Lawrence F. Cafero Jr., R-Norwalk, pictured standing, far right, speaks while colleagues Rep. Barbara Lambert, D-Milford and Rep. Jack F. Hennessy, D-Bridgeport, play solitaire Monday night as the House convened to vote on a new budget. (AP)
The guy sitting in the row in front of these two... he's on Facebook, and the guy behind Hennessy is checking out the baseball scores.
These are the folks that can't get the budget out by Oct. 1, Seriously!!!
So, we’ve got a 30 day budget extension. Well, guess what, 30 days from now we will be in the same boat. I guess this makes it easy for the news reporters as all they have to do is recycle the same headlines from this week and from 2 years ago. And these yo-yos will still be playing SOLITAIRE!!!
I'm all for voting ALL out and start with a clean slate!
Max terms and no life time benefits!!!
KEEP THIS GOING, DON'T LET IT STOP WITH YOU!!!
Subject: FW: Finally
Where to put Obama's picture
George Washington, our nation's first president and leader of the American Revolution!
Abe Lincoln, honorable leader pulled our nation through its darkest time!
Alexander Hamilton, founding father, first secretary of the treasure and leader of the constitutional convention!
Andrew Jackson, "Old� Hickory�" fought the British in� New Orleans .
Ulysses Grant, Union army general, lead the North through the Civil War!�
Ben Franklin, Genius inventor, political theorist and leading author of the constitution.
Finally, we have someone to put on the food stamp!
More people will see it here than any other place so it is appropriate.
Subject: FW: acorn
Acorn cap with the nut still attached!!
Monday, November 09, 2009
Subject: UPDATE
Sunday, November 08, 2009
Subject: FW: Self portrait
If Norman Rockwell were still doing covers
Friday, November 06, 2009
Subject: FW: FINALLY...THE $64,000 QUESTION WAS ASKED
YESTERDAY ON "ABC-TV"
DURING THE "NETWORK SPECIAL ON HEALTH CARE".... OBAMA WAS ASKED:
"MR. PRESIDENT WILL YOU AND YOUR FAMILY GIVE UP YOUR CURRENT HEALTH CARE PROGRAM
AND JOIN THE NEW 'UNIVERSAL HEALTH CARE PROGRAM' THAT THE REST OF US WILL BE ON ????"
(BET YOU ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWER)
THERE WAS A STONEY SILENCE AS OBAMA IGNORED THE QUESTION AND CHOSE NOT TO ANSWER IT !!!
IN ADDITION, A NUMBER OF SENATORS WERE ASKED THE SAME QUESTION AND THEIR RESPONSE WAS."WE WILL THINK ABOUT IT."
AND THEY DID. IT WAS ANNOUNCED TODAY ON THE NEWS THAT THE "KENNEDY HEALTH CARE BILL" WAS WRITTEN INTO THE NEW HEALTH CARE REFORM INITIATIVE ENSURING THAT THAT CONGRESS WILL BE 100%EXEMPT ! |
SO, THIS GREAT NEW HEALTH CARE PLAN THAT IS GOOD FOR YOU AND I... IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR OBAMA, HIS FAMILY OR CONGRESS...??
WE (THE AMERICAN PUBLIC) NEED TO STOP THIS PROPOSED DEBACLE ASAP !!!! THIS IS TOTALLY WRONG !!!!!
PERSONALLY, I CAN ONLY ACCEPT A UNIVERSAL HEALTH CARE OVERHAUL THAT EXTENDS TO EVERYONE.. NOT JUST US LOWLY CITIZENS... WHILE THE WASHINGTON "ELITE" KEEP RIGHT ON WITH THEIR GOLD-PLATED HEALTH CARE COVERAGES.
If you don't pass this around, may you enjoy his Plan!
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