Subject: FW: Twas the Night before Obamacare
‘Twas the Night before Obamacare’
by Ralph Alter
Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the Senate
All the Dems were conniving
To defy public sentiment
The amendments were all gutted
By the scoundrels who dared
To please St. Obama
And pass Public Health Care.
The Solons worked on, away from their beds
As permanent majorities danced in their heads.
Their supporters all snug in their pointed tin caps
Roused old Leahy and Sanders from their regular naps.
Though tea-parties and bloggers aroused so much clatter
The Senators paid them no mind and no matter.
Any doubters amongst them were bribed in a flash
Of porcine amendments infusing fresh cash.
Despite Global Warming and 2 feet of new snow
And the woeful State Media’s lack of desire to know,
Harry Reid’s minions stood up to the test
And donned their political suicide vests.
The loons trudged on through the new fallen snow
To determine exactly how much lower than low
Their ratings could plunge, when what should appear
But Ben Nelson willing to end his career!
With their little old driver, so wan and enfeebled,
It had to be the Senate Majority Leader.
Slicker than weasels his minions they came
Harry coughed and he mumbled and called them by name:
“Now Schumer! Now Boxer! Now Baucus and Tester!
On Burris, on Durbin! On Franken and Specter!
Let’s cover abortions, illegals and make
A giant bureaucracy the people’s money to take.
With arm-twisting and goodies they moved t’ward their goal
To find 60 Senators and purchase their souls.
So down to their chambers the fuglemen rallied
This white Christmas Eve to determine the tally.
And then in a hissing we heard on the floor,
More lies and dissembling than ever before,
As I pressed the remote and studied the screen
At the podium appeared Harry Reid’s pallid mien.
He sagged ‘neath the currency spilling from each
Pocket and sleeve as he reached
To dispense all the largesse in hand
To every vote-bringer from all over the land.
His eyes sunk and hollow, his furrow so creased
You couldn’t tell if he were deceased,
His yellowish teeth clenched tightly he gnashed
As he parcelled out wads of Obamacare cash.
He had a gaunt face and bend in his back
From years of portraying a partisan hack.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work
And filled 60 stockings with earmarks and perks.
He slunk to the podium, to his team gave a scowl
And proceeded to reckon the tally most foul.
Jamming both middle fingers in front of his face
He let America know who won the Health Care debate.
His team slunk in servitude, resigned to their fate
Come November where elections await,
They mumbled in unison, as the tally rolled in
“Bah Humbug America! Let the Death Panels begin!”