# Saturday, November 14, 2009

Subject: FW: Fertilized egg business

John was in the fertilized egg business.
He had several hundred young layers (hens), called 'pullets,'
and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.
He kept records, and any rooster not performing
went into the soup pot and was replaced.
This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells
and attached them to his roosters.
Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance,
which rooster was performing.
Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report
by just listening to the bells.
John's favorite rooster,  Hussein, was a very fine specimen,
but this morning he noticed Hussein's bell hadn't rung at all!
When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing
pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, could run for
To John's amazement, Hussein had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't
He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.
John was so proud of Hussein, he entered him in the Renfrew County Fair
and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.
The result was the judges not only awarded  Hussein the No Bell Piece
Prize but they also awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well.
Clearly Hussein was a politician in the making.
Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the 
most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at 
sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren't 
paying attention.
Vote carefully, the bells are not always audible.

Saturday, November 14, 2009 12:35:25 PM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
# Thursday, November 12, 2009

Subject: FW: a laugh

A Little Black Girl
A stranger was seated next to a little black girl on the airplane when
the stranger turned to her and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that
flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow

The little girl, who had just opened her coloring book, closed it
slowly and said to the stranger, "What would you like to talk about?"

"Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "Since you are a Negro, do you
think that So-called President Elect Barack Obama is qualified for the
job?" and he smiles.

"OK", she said. 'That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask
you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same
stuff - grass -. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns
out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do
you suppose that is?"

The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence,
thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, ! I have no idea."
To which the little girl replies,
"Do you really feel qualified to discuss President Barack Obama... when
you don't know shit?"

Thursday, November 12, 2009 12:37:48 PM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  |