# Saturday, 14 November 2009

Subject: FW: Fertilized egg business

John was in the fertilized egg business.
He had several hundred young layers (hens), called 'pullets,'
and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.
 
He kept records, and any rooster not performing
went into the soup pot and was replaced.
 
This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells
and attached them to his roosters.
 
Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance,
which rooster was performing.
 
Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report
by just listening to the bells.
 
John's favorite rooster,  Hussein, was a very fine specimen,
but this morning he noticed Hussein's bell hadn't rung at all!
 
When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing
pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, could run for
cover.
 
To John's amazement, Hussein had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't
ring.
 
He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.
John was so proud of Hussein, he entered him in the Renfrew County Fair
and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.
 
The result was the judges not only awarded  Hussein the No Bell Piece
Prize but they also awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well.
Clearly Hussein was a politician in the making.
 
Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the 
most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at 
sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren't 
paying attention.
 
Vote carefully, the bells are not always audible.

Saturday, 14 November 2009 12:35:25 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
# Friday, 13 November 2009

Subject: FW: Two First Ladies descending from Air Force One

 

Friday, 13 November 2009 16:24:26 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 

Subject: Show Your Support

I usually don't pass along these "add your name" lists that appear in my email, but this one is too important.

This one has been circulating for months. Please keep it going!

To show your SUPPORT for Obama's health care reform, please go the end of the list and add your name to the  rapidly growing list below and send it on to your entire e-mail list.

1.. Nancy Pelosi
Friday, 13 November 2009 12:39:56 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
# Thursday, 12 November 2009

Subject: FW: Heisman Trophy Winner Announced

By John Jones

ASSOCIATED PRESS, Washington, D.C. 

 – President Barak Obama has won the Heisman Trophy. 

 Despite the fact that he never played college football, Obama was selected by a group of the nation’s most elite sport writers for his incredible, intended achievement.  In claiming the coveted athletic prize, President Obama said, “I always WANTED to play college football and when I saw myself on the field, I was always in the process of making the most amazing catch as the sport’s best wide receiver so I am honored that the committee has chosen me.” 

 Despite the fact that Obama has been out of college for well over 25 years, the Heisman votes were given to him by the committee because, “Well, we just really like him and even though he smokes, He just seems like a really amazing guy.”  While the other Heisman candidates were stunned, they did agree that the President’s desire to play ball really overshadowed any real accomplishments they had actually made on the nation’s gridirons.

In addition to the fact that President Obama never really played football ever, this award was doubly amazing in that the Heisman Trophy is not usually awarded until much later in the football season.  “It doesn’t really matter,” said Bob Smith fromSports Illustrated.  “When the season begins and ends is really irrelevant to the award.”

Rahm Emmanuel, with tears in his eyes, said, “This means so much to my boss.  I can’t thank those enough for the votes they cast. I will be sure to use this in all our upcoming campaigns.  You have truly given me something to work with and I am so grateful.”

Michelle Obama could not be reached for comment.

 

Thursday, 12 November 2009 22:12:05 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  |