# Monday, 17 January 2011

Subject: FW: Breadwinner

Dear Mr. Limbaugh,


 I was speaking to an emergency room physician this morning. He told me that a woman in her 20's came to the ER with her 8th pregnancy. She stated "my momma told me that I am the breadwinner for the family."

 He asked her to explain. She said that she can make babies and babies get money for the family. The scam goes like this: The grandma calls the Department of Child and Family Services and states that the unemployed daughter is not capable of caring for these children. DCFS agrees and states that the child or children will need to go to foster care. The grandma then volunteers to be the foster parent, and thus receives a check for $1500 per child per month IN ILLINOIS.

Total yearly income: $144,000 tax-free, not to mention free healthcare (Medicaid) plus a monthly "Linx" card entitling her to free groceries, etc, and a voucher for 250 free cell phone minutes per month. This does not even include Wick and other welfare programs. Indeed, grandma was correct in that her fertile daughter is the "breadwinner" in the family.

I hope you share this story with your listeners so that they know how the ruling class spends their tax dollars.

Also, many thanks for the fine service you provide in educating people about the merits of conservative thinking.

 Cheers,
 Sebastian J. Ciancio, M.D. Urologist, Danville Polyclinic, LTD.

Monday, 17 January 2011 21:20:59 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
# Friday, 14 January 2011

Subject: FW:  STEVE BRIDGES AS BO

Steve Bridges imitated George Bush on the Jay Leno Show during the entire eight years he was president. He was made up to look and act almost exactly like Bush. He has now started imitating Obama and REALLY does it right. The Administration has tried to put a stop to Bridges' act because Obama has made it known that he is deeply offended. 

 

 

 

Friday, 14 January 2011 21:16:28 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
# Thursday, 13 January 2011

Subject: FW:  Here's one idea.........Quite Appropriate..

 

Congress Votes to Outsource Presidency

Washington, DC

 Congress today announced that the office of President of the United States of America will be outsourced to India as of March 1, 2011.

The move is being made in order to save the President's $500,000 yearly salary, and also a record $750 billion in deficit expenditures and related overhead that his office has incurred during the last 3 months.

It is anticipated that $7 trillion can be saved to the end of the President's term. "We believe this is a wise financial move. The cost savings are huge," stated Congressman Thomas Reynolds (R-WA). "We cannot remain competitive on the world stage with the current level of cash outlay," Reynolds noted.

Obama was informed by email this morning of his termination. Preparations for the job move have been underway for some time.

Gurvinder Singh, a tele-technician for Indus Teleservices, Mumbai India , will assume the office of President as of September 1, 2009. Mr. Singh was born in the United States while his Indian parents were vacationing at Niagara Falls, NY . Thus making him eligible for the position. He will receive a salary of $320 (USD) a month, but no health coverage or other benefits.

It is believed that Mr. Singh will be able to handle his job responsibilities without a support staff. Due to the time difference between the US and India , he will be working primarily at night. "Working nights will allow me to keep my day job at the Dell Computer call center," stated Mr. Singh in an exclusive interview.

"I am excited about this position. I always hoped I would be President."

A Congressional spokesperson noted that while Mr. Singh may not be fully aware of all the issues involved in the office of President, this should not be a problem as Obama had never been familiar with the issues either.

Mr. Singh will rely upon a script tree that will enable him to respond effectively to most topics of concern. Using these canned responses, he can address common concerns without having to understand the underlying issue at all. "We know these scripting tools work," stated the spokesperson.

"Obama has used them successfully for years, with the result that some people actually thought he knew what he was talking about."

Obama will receive health coverage, expenses, and salary until his final day of employment. Following a two-week waiting period, he will be eligible for $140 a week unemployment for 26 weeks. Unfortunately he will not be eligible for Medicaid, as his unemployment benefits will exceed the allowed limit.

Obama has been provided with the outplacement services of Manpower, Inc. to help him write a resume and prepare for his upcoming job transition. According to Manpower, Obama may have difficulties in securing a new position due to a lack of any successful work experience during his lifetime.

A greeter position at WalMart was suggested due to Obama's extensive experience at shaking hands, as well as his special smile.

 

 

Thursday, 13 January 2011 21:11:21 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
# Wednesday, 12 January 2011

Subject: FW: Maxine

Forced Healthcare - Short 'n sweet . . . . . .

Let me get this straight. We're going to be "gifted" with a health care plan we are forced to purchase and fined if we don't,

written by a committee whose chairman says he doesn't understand it,  passed by a Congress that hasn't read it but exempts themselves from it,

to be signed by a president who happens to smoke,

with funding administered by a treasury chief who didn't pay his taxes, to be overseen by a surgeon general who is obese,

and financed by a country that's broke

What the hell could possibly go wrong?

Wednesday, 12 January 2011 21:06:39 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  |