# Tuesday, 29 March 2011

Subject: FW: TWO COFFEES

Two Coffees

Having arrived at the Gates of Heaven, Barrack Obama meets a man with a beard.  'Are you Mohammed?' he asks.  'No my son, I am St. Peter; Mohammed is higher up.'  Peter then points to a ladder that rises into the clouds .

Delighted that Mohammed should be higher than St. Peter, Obama climbs the ladder in great strides, climbs up through the clouds and comes into a room where he meets another bearded man.  He asks again, 'Are you Mohammed?' 'Why no he answers, I am Moses; Mohammed is higher still .'

Exhausted, but with a heart full of joy he climbs the ladder yet again, he discovers a larger room where he meets an angelic looking man with a beard.  Full of hope, he asks again, 'Are you Mohammed?'    'No, I am Jesus, the Christ...you will find Mohammed higher up. '

Mohammed higher than Jesus!  Man, oh man!  Obama can hardly contain his delight and climbs and climbs ever higher.  Once again, he reaches an even larger room where he meets this truly magnificent looking man with a silver white beard and once again repeats his question:

"Are you Mohammed?" he gasps as he is by now, totally out of breath from all his climbing.  'No, my son.... I am Almighty God, the Alpha and the Omega, but you look exhausted.  Would you like a cup of coffee?"

Obama says, “Yes please”!  As God looks behind him, he claps his hands and yells out: "Hey Mohammed-two coffees!""

Keep your trust in God...your president is an idiot………

god | jesus | joke | muslim
Tuesday, 29 March 2011 08:16:17 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
# Monday, 28 March 2011

Subject: FW: Spoted on OregonLive.com/forum

I HAVE THE PERFECT FIX FOR LIBYA AND THE U.S. ...

they want a new Muslim leader......

we send them OBAMA.....

FIX OUR PROBLEMS AND THIERS!

DONE!

Monday, 28 March 2011 06:11:41 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
# Friday, 25 March 2011

Subject: FW: NEW PISTOL FROM RUGER--Commemorative Issue

Ruger is coming out with a new pistol in honor of Obama. It will be named the “Union Worker”. 

It doesn’t work and you can’t fire it !

joke | Ruger | union
Friday, 25 March 2011 05:45:03 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
# Wednesday, 16 March 2011

Subject: FW: Presidents Visit

I couldn’t resist…………Visit To The Troops

 

I heard the President's visit to the troops didn't go so well...

 

Obama on tricycle crying chased by tanks

Oh yes, you are going to forward this, aren't you!

Wednesday, 16 March 2011 20:28:54 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
# Monday, 14 March 2011

Subject: FW: OBAMA IS WORRIED ABOUT EGYPT (Cartoon)

2009 Nobel Peace Prize Winner -- 

 

Look, we need to do something about this Egypt thing.  If our own citizens realize they can just toss out their leader for being a worthless idiot then I could be next!

Hmmm, yes... I see what you mean.

Monday, 14 March 2011 20:26:52 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
# Friday, 11 March 2011

Subject: FW: DEMOCRAT INBREEDING

DEMOCRATIC INBREEDING

 

John Kerry + Barrack Obama = 'Golden Voice' Ted Williams

Now that is funny!

 

Friday, 11 March 2011 20:24:28 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
# Wednesday, 09 March 2011

Subject: FW: Heritage??


Great read.Barack Obama, during his Cairo speech, said:   "I know, too, that Islam has always been a part of  America 's story."

 AN AMERICAN
CITIZEN'S RESPONSE:

Dear Mr. Obama:

Were those Muslims that were in America when the Pilgrims first landed?  Funny, I thought they were Native American Indians.

Were those Muslims that celebrated the first Thanksgiving day?  Sorry again, those were Pilgrims and Native American Indians.

Can you show me one Muslim signature on the United States Constitution?

Declaration of Independence ?

Bill of Rights?

 Didn't think so.

 Did Muslims fight for this country's freedom from England ?  No.

 Did Muslims fight during the Civil War to free the slaves in America ?  No, they did not.  In fact, Muslims to this day are still the largest traffickers in human slavery.  Your own half brother, a devout Muslim, still advocates slavery himself, even though Muslims of Arabic descent refer to black Muslims as "pug nosed slaves."  Says a lot of what the Muslim world really thinks of your family's "rich Islamic heritage," doesn't it Mr. Obama?

 Where were Muslims during the Civil Rights era of this country?  Not present.

 There are no pictures or media accounts of Muslims walking side by side with Martin Luther King, Jr. or helping to advance the cause of Civil Rights.

 Where were Muslims during this country's Woman's Suffrage era?  Again, not present.  In fact, devout Muslims demand that women are subservient to men in the Islamic culture.  So much so, that often they are beaten for not wearing the 'hajib' or for talking to a man who is not a direct family member or their husband.  Yep, the Muslims are all for women's rights, aren't they?

 Where were Muslims during World War II?  They were aligned with Adolf Hitler.  The Muslim grand mufti himself met with Adolf Hitler, reviewed the troops and accepted support from the Nazi's in killing Jews.

 Finally, Mr. Obama, where were Muslims on Sept. 11th, 2001?  If they weren't flying planes into the World Trade Center , the Pentagon or a field in Pennsylvania killing nearly 3,000 people on our own soil, they were rejoicing in the Middle East .  No one can dispute the pictures shown from all parts of the Muslim world celebrating on CNN, Fox News, MSNBC and other cable news networks that day.  Strangely, the very "moderate" Muslims who's asses you bent over backwards to kiss in Cairo , Egypt on June 4th were stone cold silent post 9-11.  To many Americans, their silence has meant approval for the acts of that day.

 And THAT, Mr. Obama, is the "rich heritage" Muslims have here in America ..

 Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot to mention the Barbary Pirates.  They were Muslim.

 And now we can add November 5, 2009 - the slaughter of American soldiers at Fort Hood by a Muslim major who is a doctor and a psychiatrist who was supposed to be counseling soldiers returning from battle in Iraq and Afghanistan ..

 That, Mr. Obama is the "Muslim heritage" in America .

EVERY AMERICAN MUST READ THIS !!

Be sure to  SEND IT TO ALL .   

 Muslim Heritage, my ass.

 

Wednesday, 09 March 2011 20:21:52 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
# Monday, 07 March 2011

Subject: FW: Cartoon Printed In Scotland

 It's not only the English who have a sense of humor. The Scots do as well!

New Antiseptic

 

This cartoon originated in Scotland ...

It looks like most of the world is laughing at our nation's leadership!

 

Messianic Pharmaceuticals
- Kills capitalism on contact
- Kills jobs on contact
- Stimulates marxist tendancies
- No oversight needed
- Endorsed by unions

For the general destruction of wealth.  If you catch a nasty case of free market capitalism, try hydrogen barackside - it will cure you of all your money issues.  Our solution is right on the marx!!

Warning: Keep away from wallet when opening

Monday, 07 March 2011 20:17:52 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
# Thursday, 03 March 2011

Subject: FW: The Ghost of Thanksgiving Yet to Come

The Ghost of Thanksgiving Yet to Come

"Winston, come into the dining room, it's time to eat," Julia yelled to her husband "In a minute, honey, it's a tie score," he answered. Actually, Winston wasn't very interested in the traditional holiday football game between Detroit and Washington . Ever since the government passed the Civility in Sports Statute of 2017, outlawing tackle football for its "unseemly violence" and the "bad example it sets for the rest of the world," Winston was far less of a football fan than he used to be. Two-hand touch wasn't nearly as exciting.

Yet it wasn't the game that Winston was uninterested in. It was more the thought of eating another Tofu Turkey. Even though it was the best type of Veggie Meat available after the government revised the American Anti-Obesity Act of 2018, adding fowl to the list of federally-forbidden foods, (which already included potatoes, cranberry sauce and mincemeat pie), it wasn't anything like real turkey. In addition, ever since the government officially changed the name of "Thanksgiving Day" to "A National Day of Atonement" in 2020 to officially acknowledge the Pilgrims' historically brutal treatment of Native Americans, the holiday had lost a lot of its luster.

Eating in the dining room was also a bit daunting. The unearthly gleam of government-mandated fluorescent light bulbs made the Tofu Turkey look even weirder than it actually was, and the room was always cold. Ever since Congress passed the Power Conservation Act of 2016, mandating all thermostats-which were monitored and controlled by the electric company-be kept at 68 degrees, every room on the north side of the house was barely tolerable throughout the entire winter.

Still, it was good getting together with family. At least most of the family.  Winston missed his mother, who passed on in October, when she had used up her legal allotment of live-saving medical treatment. He had had many heated conversations with the Regional Health Consortium, spawned when the private insurance market finally went bankrupt, and everyone was forced into the government health care program. And though he demanded she be kept on her treatment, it was a futile effort. "The RHC's resources are limited," explained the government bureaucrat Winston spoke with on the phone. "Your mother received all the benefits to which she was entitled. I'm sorry for your loss."

Ed couldn't make it either. He had forgotten to plug in his electric car last night, the only kind available after the Anti-Fossil Fuel Bill of 2021 outlawed the use of the combustion engines-for everyone but government officials. The fifty mile round trip was about ten miles too far, and Ed didn't want to spend a frosty night on the road somewhere between here and there.

Thankfully, Winston's brother, John, and his wife were flying in. Winston made sure that the dining room chairs had extra cushions for
the occasion. No one complained more than John about the pain of sitting down so soon after the government-mandated cavity searches at airports, which severely aggravated his hemorrhoids. Ever since a terrorist successfully smuggled a cavity bomb onto a jetliner, the TSA told Americans the added "inconvenience" was an "absolute necessity" in order to stay "one step ahead of the terrorists."
Winston's own body had grown accustomed to such probing ever since the government expanded their scope to just about anywhere a crowd gathered, via Anti-Profiling Act of 2022. That law made it a crime to single out any group or individual for "unequal scrutiny," even when probable cause was involved. Thus, cavity searches at malls, train stations, bus depots, etc., etc., had become almost routine.  . . . . . . . . . Almost.

The Supreme Court is reviewing the statute, but most Americans expect a Court composed of six progressives and three conservatives to leave the law intact. "A living Constitution is extremely flexible," said the Court's eldest member, Elena Kagan. " Europe has had laws like this one for years. We should learn from their example," she added.

Winston's thoughts turned to his own children. He got along fairly well with his 12-year-old daughter, Brittany, mostly because she ignored him. Winston had long ago surrendered to the idea that she could text anyone at any time, even during Atonement Dinner. Their only real confrontation had occurred when he limited her to 50,000 texts a month, explaining that was all he could afford. She whined for a week, but got over it.

His 16-year-old son, Jason, was another matter altogether. Perhaps it was the constant bombarding he got in public school that global warming, the bird flu, terrorism or any of a number of other calamities were "just around the corner," but Jason had developed a kind of nihilistic attitude that ranged between simmering surliness and outright hostility. It didn't help that Jason had reported his father to the police for smoking a cigarette in the house, an act made criminal by the Smoking Control Statute of 2018, which outlawed smoking anywhere within 500 feet of another human being. Winston paid the $5,000.00 fine, which might have been considered excessive before the American dollar became virtually worthless as a result of QE13. The latest round of quantitative easing the federal government initiated was, once again, to "spur economic growth." This time they promised to push unemployment below its years-long rate of 18%, but Winston was not particularly hopeful.

Yet the family had a lot for which to be thankful, Winston thought, before remembering it was a Day of Atonement. At least he had his memories. He felt a twinge of sadness when he realized his children would never know what life was like in the Good Old Days, long before government promises to make life "fair for everyone" realized their full potential. Winston, like so many of his fellow Americans, never realized how much things could change when they didn't happen all at once, but little by little, so people could get used to them.

He wondered what might have happened if the public had stood up while there was still time, maybe back around 2011, when all the real nonsense began. "Maybe we wouldn't be where we are today if we'd just said 'enough is enough' when we had the chance," he thought.


Maybe so, Winston. . . . . . . . . . . Maybe so.

Thursday, 03 March 2011 20:15:08 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
# Wednesday, 02 March 2011

Subject: FW: Scumbag Obama

 

Says he will remove Patriot Act, Renews key provisions of it

Wednesday, 02 March 2011 06:44:24 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
# Tuesday, 01 March 2011

Subject: FW: The Caption Is Pure Genius

 

With breathless anticipation, the crowd awaits the unveiling of the Obama statue

Pigeons

Tuesday, 01 March 2011 09:29:49 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  |