# Monday, 09 January 2012

Subject: FW: DIVORCE AGREEMENT...

DIVORCE AGREEMENT

DIVORCE AGREEMENT--WRITTEN BY YOUNG COLLEGE STUDENT--30 STAR RATING:

 

The person that wrote this is a college student. Perhaps there is hope for us after all.

DIVORCE AGREEMENT
THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT AND I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S BY A YOUNG PERSON, A STUDENT!!! WHATEVER HE RUNS FOR, I'LL VOTE FOR HIM.

Dear American liberals, leftists,

social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:We have stuck together since the late 1950's for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.


Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what
is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:
--Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion. That will be


the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.



--We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them.
--You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.--Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military.
--We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar and biodiesel.
--You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.

--We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street.
--You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens.
--We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks.
--We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood

--You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.
--You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

--We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.
--You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

--We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and over sized luxury cars. You can take every Volt and Leaf you can find.
--You can give everyone health care if you can find any practicing doctors.
--We'll continue to believe health care is a luxury and not a right.
--We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem."
--I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya" or "We Are the World".

--We'll practice trickle down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.

--Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you that I can answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin & Charlie Sheen, Barbara Streisand, & ( Hanoi ) Jane Fonda with you.

P.S.S. And you won't have to press 1 for English 
when you call our country.
Monday, 09 January 2012 20:44:49 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
# Friday, 06 January 2012

Subject: FW: New breadwinner in the family...

New breadwinner in the family...
Check this out! Not a joke!

 It's not that liberals aren't smart, it's just that so much of what they know isn't so. - Ronald Reagan

 *The new breadwinner in the family...* 
 
 This is preposterous! An emergency room physician told me that a woman in her late 20's came to the ER today with her 8 th pregnancy
 
 She told the first doctor she saw: "My Mama told me that *I am the breadwinner for the family.*
 
" He asked her to explain. She said that she can make babies and babies get money from the State for the family.
It goes like this:
The Grandma calls the Department of Child & Family Services, and states that the unemployed daughter is not capable of caring for all of her kids.
 
DCFS agrees, and tells her the children will need to go into foster care.
 The Grandma then volunteers to be the foster parent, and receives a check for $1500 *per child *each month in  Illinois .
 
 Total yearly income:
$144,000 tax-free and nobody has to go to work!
In fact, they get more if there is no husband/father/man in the home!

 *Not to mention free healthcare (Medicaid), plus a monthly card entitling
them to free groceries and a voucher for 250 free Obama phone minutes each
month. This does not include WIC and other welfare benefits...*

 Indeed, Grandma was correct that her fertile daughter is the "breadwinner" for the family.
 This is how the politicians spend our tax dollars. When this generous program was invented in the '60s, the Great Society architects forgot to
craft an end date... and now we are hopelessly overrun with people who vote only for those who will continue to keep them on the dole....
 No wonder our country is broke! Worse, the Muslims have been paying attention, and by mandating that each Muslim family have eleven children,
they will soon replace the voting bloc above and can be running this country within 50 years.
 
 Are we alarmed yet? Is anybody listening?

 Sincerely,  
 Sebastian J. Ciancio, M.D. Urologist,
 Danville Polyclinic, LTD
 Is this a GREAT COUNTRY or what...?

 Don't forget to pay your taxes!!
 *There are a lot of breadwinners * *depending on you!*

 

Friday, 06 January 2012 20:41:22 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
# Tuesday, 03 January 2012

Subject: FW: Send this to everyone I WANT ONE!!! BRO

May this one take off and spread like wildfire!!

 

U want Change?

DuhBro Gotta Go!

Tuesday, 03 January 2012 20:38:24 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  |